I am not sure if you are even going to read this, as the post is 8 months old, but as I read your concern and read all the answers I felt that I needed to answer. First of all, let me say that I have had your sons desires for most of my life. The question that I ask you is do you want your son to grow up to be a self focused man, or an other focused man? The thing with foot fetish or obsession is it really is all about me. It also makes women objects...like a flower...instead of recognizing them as persons. The obsession may not start off sexual...but once the two [smelling a woman's feet and sex] are joined it is hard to separate them. How does this obsession make a person selfish [unless they fight it]? I see a woman's feet, I want to smell her feet to turn me on [sexually or not]...but what about her? What does she get out of the deal? Many guys don't care, they haven't even thought about it. We live in a culture that treats women as sex objects and wonder why so many men are selfish and immature. I would begin teaching your son that in any relationship in life it is best to invest and serve and give to others. Teach him that women are not merely objects for men to ogle over and use...but are people that should be respected and treated so by men in their words and actions. I would not encourage him to smell your friends feet. I would not encourage someone with a serious drinking problem or Meth addiction to give into it...it only further deepens the problem. Try wrapping a piece of thread around your wrists...then snap it. Then wrap twice...then snap. Eventually, even the strongest person won't be able to break free. I still struggle with this obsession...but I do struggle...and I am much better off when I don't give in to it then when I do. Teach him to say no now.
I did read it - nine months later. I truly appreciate your insights as someone who has lived through it. Ironically, when he was questioned about why he likes the smell, he said they smelled like flowers to him. Now some may say it is innocent in that sense... but I do wonder about the sexuality.
Unfortunately, something has happened since then which I am deeply concerned about. I had a coworker who I trusted to watch him while I was working - she did this for two months and always wore her work outfit when she came from work (other days she wouldn't but wore pantyhose it seemed). I came home early one time and she was letting him sniff her nylon feet - she was sitting on the couch and letting him sniff away.
When I questioned her further she told me all my questioning about it made her feel sorry for him and she just wanted him to enjoy it. I was outraged as a mother and asked her never to come to my house again. So, whatever imprinting I was trying to prevent is definitely permanent I'd think - it turns out she did this for the entire two months.
Like some in the thread suggested that I just let him, she did and it seems his behavior is less compulsive. I read somewhere else that my pantyhose could be an issue too so I've taken to handwashing these and my socks after every shift (I used to let them stack up in the hamper as I have to go to a laundromat and frankly wasn't tracking if they'd been moved or raided). I suppose some on this thread would have said just hand them to him and let him sniff mine, but I am obviously opposed to that.
I try to ask my coworkers to change before coming over and we have a new rule to keep shoes on in the house. I feel like I've flipped to oppressive (and therefore suppressing these desires) and am thinking of changing jobs. Yet, I feel like my coworker who babysat him has 'sealed the deal' or in the best case, satiated the curiosity.. time will tell.
Thanks for your thoughts- I truly appreciate them.
Son keeps smelling my coworkers feet IIN?
← View full post
Dear workingmom,
I am not sure if you are even going to read this, as the post is 8 months old, but as I read your concern and read all the answers I felt that I needed to answer. First of all, let me say that I have had your sons desires for most of my life. The question that I ask you is do you want your son to grow up to be a self focused man, or an other focused man? The thing with foot fetish or obsession is it really is all about me. It also makes women objects...like a flower...instead of recognizing them as persons. The obsession may not start off sexual...but once the two [smelling a woman's feet and sex] are joined it is hard to separate them. How does this obsession make a person selfish [unless they fight it]? I see a woman's feet, I want to smell her feet to turn me on [sexually or not]...but what about her? What does she get out of the deal? Many guys don't care, they haven't even thought about it. We live in a culture that treats women as sex objects and wonder why so many men are selfish and immature. I would begin teaching your son that in any relationship in life it is best to invest and serve and give to others. Teach him that women are not merely objects for men to ogle over and use...but are people that should be respected and treated so by men in their words and actions. I would not encourage him to smell your friends feet. I would not encourage someone with a serious drinking problem or Meth addiction to give into it...it only further deepens the problem. Try wrapping a piece of thread around your wrists...then snap it. Then wrap twice...then snap. Eventually, even the strongest person won't be able to break free. I still struggle with this obsession...but I do struggle...and I am much better off when I don't give in to it then when I do. Teach him to say no now.
--
workingmom
8 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
I did read it - nine months later. I truly appreciate your insights as someone who has lived through it. Ironically, when he was questioned about why he likes the smell, he said they smelled like flowers to him. Now some may say it is innocent in that sense... but I do wonder about the sexuality.
Unfortunately, something has happened since then which I am deeply concerned about. I had a coworker who I trusted to watch him while I was working - she did this for two months and always wore her work outfit when she came from work (other days she wouldn't but wore pantyhose it seemed). I came home early one time and she was letting him sniff her nylon feet - she was sitting on the couch and letting him sniff away.
When I questioned her further she told me all my questioning about it made her feel sorry for him and she just wanted him to enjoy it. I was outraged as a mother and asked her never to come to my house again. So, whatever imprinting I was trying to prevent is definitely permanent I'd think - it turns out she did this for the entire two months.
Like some in the thread suggested that I just let him, she did and it seems his behavior is less compulsive. I read somewhere else that my pantyhose could be an issue too so I've taken to handwashing these and my socks after every shift (I used to let them stack up in the hamper as I have to go to a laundromat and frankly wasn't tracking if they'd been moved or raided). I suppose some on this thread would have said just hand them to him and let him sniff mine, but I am obviously opposed to that.
I try to ask my coworkers to change before coming over and we have a new rule to keep shoes on in the house. I feel like I've flipped to oppressive (and therefore suppressing these desires) and am thinking of changing jobs. Yet, I feel like my coworker who babysat him has 'sealed the deal' or in the best case, satiated the curiosity.. time will tell.
Thanks for your thoughts- I truly appreciate them.