I honestly don't quite know how you should go about this. I have quite a few fetishes myself (not for the foot), but the foot fetish is something that has always weirded me out. I don't think that it is uncommon for fetishes to start in childhood. Punishing or forbidding will not stop his fetish. It will probably cause him stress and emotional upset (feeling guilty). The effects of that could and most likely will carry on into adulthood.
The thing that most concerns me is that he doesn't take boundaries into consideration. He has a lack of control in his desires. I've notice this problem in other foot fetishists too. He needs to be taught this. When he grows up and does that to women, most of them won't be so lenient in their reactions. He could get himself into a lot of trouble if he doesn't learn boundaries and self-control.
Thank you for this advice! I think that is a key factor, just learning what is appropriate is one thing, but learning about people's boundaries is another. I am worried where the boundaries will go though - if he truly doesn't grow out of it like I hope will he just find secret ways to find it? Example: A coworker who clearly does not like him doing it and has warned him about not doing it anymore was over last night after work. We were in the kitchen talking and her shoes were by the front door. I walked in and found him sniffing her shoes. I just grabbed him by the hand and quietly pulled him away (so she wouldn't hear or know).
I think I'll try this boundaries approach - it's a good healthy way to help him control his desires, assuming that is what is really going on. Thank you - I'll see how it goes.
He does NOT have a foot fetish...your sexualizing his behavior too much...he likes the smell of feet just like every kid who sticks his finger in their butts and sniffs it or picks a boogie and eats it...You KNOW you did it...he also is very young to totally understand the concept of boundaries....so he still needs education...just help him understand boundaries and personal space and respect for others...if he will not accept redirection of course we as parents have to help them understand
Dear Avant-Garde, your advise is quite inappropriate for this situation, due to the fact that the kid might have probably born like that and did not experience the need until it activated his inner emotions. Kids at that age don't know and understand anything about boundaries and much less about violating other people's personal space and privacy. Advising the kid at that age, about what is right and wrong and the consequences of his acts, is a more effective way to making him understand about the situation than just punishing him, and prohibiting things to him. Punishing him, you only drive him into the creepy side in his adolescence because he might find it frustrating and as something that is bad but pleasurable and therefore act with negligence. By advising him, he might start thinking twice about the situation hi is putting him self into. Also, teaching him about asking permission before doing so is always better and is not frustrating as when you said no.
I re-read my comment. In it I advised against punishment. You can teach boundaries without punishment. I suppose I was being unrealistic. I don't think most kids have an automatic grasp of boundaries unless they're taught to. I certainly had my fair share of social faux pas.
Son keeps smelling my coworkers feet IIN?
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I honestly don't quite know how you should go about this. I have quite a few fetishes myself (not for the foot), but the foot fetish is something that has always weirded me out. I don't think that it is uncommon for fetishes to start in childhood. Punishing or forbidding will not stop his fetish. It will probably cause him stress and emotional upset (feeling guilty). The effects of that could and most likely will carry on into adulthood.
The thing that most concerns me is that he doesn't take boundaries into consideration. He has a lack of control in his desires. I've notice this problem in other foot fetishists too. He needs to be taught this. When he grows up and does that to women, most of them won't be so lenient in their reactions. He could get himself into a lot of trouble if he doesn't learn boundaries and self-control.
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workingmom
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Thank you for this advice! I think that is a key factor, just learning what is appropriate is one thing, but learning about people's boundaries is another. I am worried where the boundaries will go though - if he truly doesn't grow out of it like I hope will he just find secret ways to find it? Example: A coworker who clearly does not like him doing it and has warned him about not doing it anymore was over last night after work. We were in the kitchen talking and her shoes were by the front door. I walked in and found him sniffing her shoes. I just grabbed him by the hand and quietly pulled him away (so she wouldn't hear or know).
I think I'll try this boundaries approach - it's a good healthy way to help him control his desires, assuming that is what is really going on. Thank you - I'll see how it goes.
He does NOT have a foot fetish...your sexualizing his behavior too much...he likes the smell of feet just like every kid who sticks his finger in their butts and sniffs it or picks a boogie and eats it...You KNOW you did it...he also is very young to totally understand the concept of boundaries....so he still needs education...just help him understand boundaries and personal space and respect for others...if he will not accept redirection of course we as parents have to help them understand
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.......i never stuck my finger in my ass and smelled it.
Dear Avant-Garde, your advise is quite inappropriate for this situation, due to the fact that the kid might have probably born like that and did not experience the need until it activated his inner emotions. Kids at that age don't know and understand anything about boundaries and much less about violating other people's personal space and privacy. Advising the kid at that age, about what is right and wrong and the consequences of his acts, is a more effective way to making him understand about the situation than just punishing him, and prohibiting things to him. Punishing him, you only drive him into the creepy side in his adolescence because he might find it frustrating and as something that is bad but pleasurable and therefore act with negligence. By advising him, he might start thinking twice about the situation hi is putting him self into. Also, teaching him about asking permission before doing so is always better and is not frustrating as when you said no.
--
Avant-Garde
5 years ago
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I re-read my comment. In it I advised against punishment. You can teach boundaries without punishment. I suppose I was being unrealistic. I don't think most kids have an automatic grasp of boundaries unless they're taught to. I certainly had my fair share of social faux pas.