Should parents stay together for the sake of their children?

12 Comments

Or would separation be more sensible for a couple that no longer gets along and has one or more children? There are no other serious issues, such as alcoholism or violence. The couple have simply fallen out of love (or maybe never were in love to start with). They are arguing all the time, can't agree on anything and can't even stand the sight of each other. Needless to say, their sex life is dead. Or who knows, maybe they're cheating on each other. Back to the point, in your opinion would they be doing their children a favour by staying together?

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    My dad had a drinking problem (now he doesn't, he just drinks a little) and once my parents got in a fistfight. I think that what happened is they would always yell at each other and they wanted to divorce, but stayed together for me and my brother. That just made them hate the other one more, ironically, now that their divorced and both have boyfriends/girlfriends, (but will never marry again) they actually get along. In any case, they never really had love. Because my dad got my mom pregnant on accident, so they married for our sake. That was always what they said, and having two different houses is WAY better than your dad drinking and your mom and dad yelling at each other. Also, when separated they are actually very good parents!

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    12 years ago | pl

    I think the parents should be mature and try to work through their problems like adults... for the sake of teaching their children how to grow up.

    Too many people treat marriage like it's disposable.

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    • cupcake_wants
      12 years ago | pl

      How long do you think the parents should try to make it work while it doesn't? indefinitely? Even the comments left here by kids that lived it, shows that they suffered.

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      • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
        12 years ago | pl

        It depends on what those differences are.

        And whether or not it stems from unfixable problems or from adults acting less mature than their children do.

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  • blacksheep2011
    12 years ago | pl

    My parents did this, or tried to. When I was 10 they were ready to divorce and then decided not to. Instead they decided to stay together and created a cold unloving environment for my siblings and I. They were not affectionate and did not agree on anything, including how to raise us and discipline us. They argued often. That gave my siblings and I numerous issues. To this day I wish they had divorced when I was 10, instead of this year, at the age of 29.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago | pl

      thank you for sharing this :) this sounds quite similar to my own upbringing. Constant bad vibes and hostile tension were our normality. My mom also struggled with depression and I guess her plan was to leave my dad once my brother and I were grown up. She said she didn't want to deprive us of our dad, as she had grown up without a father herself. They really thought they were doing us a favour. In retrospect it seems a bit like waiting for the end of a prison sentence. Sadly, I didn't find an understanding ally in my brother. On the contrary he was very nasty to me and I'm convinced that the example my parents set, had a lot to do with it. If you don't mind, I'd be interested to know how this affected your sibling relationship?

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    I think they should still live together for the sake of their child. Show family love to each other but not in a relationship sort of way. The father and mother should be free to date who ever they want to aslong as it doesnt come in to play with the childs life. Long story short, they should stay together for the sake of the child but should be free to seek out other relationships that doesnt effect the child.

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    • jacksnose
      12 years ago | pl

      I agree with you. It seems like all sides win, as long as the parents relationships didn't interfere with the children's home life. After the kid's are old enough to understand and have created close bonds with both parents. This a perfect scenario unless there is an abusive situation.

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  • UliNalaMansae
    12 years ago | pl

    it depends doesn't it. MY parents only got married because my mom was pregnant with my brother, if you ask me i think they had a right to not bee together and our family is a lot happier now. My mom is remarried and so is my dad, but it depends on situations because if one parent is abusive then no. don't stay together. If they don't love each i would say, don't be together but that's obviously not my call is it.

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  • I_steal_free_bread
    12 years ago | pl

    Thats a very sensitive topic for me so I dont feel like saying anything about that matter.

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