Should i leave this toxic relationship?

I'm in an extremely toxic relationship and I can't leave it. Should I man-up and get out of it? I really love this person but they do me more harm than good every time we get back together.

Why can't I just leave them and move on with my life? is it normal to be stuck and not be able to free myself?

Please vote on whether I should leave and let go. Thank you for your time.

no 4
yes 56
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 69 )
  • Ellenna

    Why you are you asking if you should leave and on the other hand saying you can't leave it?

    If it's extremely toxic as you say, then of course you should leave it, but you don't tell us why you feel you can't do that.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • I'm very attached, sorry I didnt mention but Im still in love although he hurts me. Its like an addiction.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • Ellenna

        If you feel you're in love with someone who hurts you, please get some therapy or call a family violence hotline, because that is not healthy.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • I'd love to do that but it's just psychological harm, never physical. I know I should leave but I feel so attached that I just can't. I don't know what to do anymore.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
            -
          • Ellenna

            Please stop making excuses and reach out for help: emotional abuse is still abuse

            Comment Hidden ( show )
              -
            • RoseIsabella

              Amen to that! Verbal and emotional abuse tends to escalate, and it's damaging to the self esteem of the victim/survivor.

              Comment Hidden ( show )
            • I'm building up the strength, thank you for your comments.

              Comment Hidden ( show )
          • RoseIsabella

            Emotional and verbal abuse does eventually turn into physical abuse much of the time, believe me!

            Comment Hidden ( show )
              -
            • It's like there's this invisible string I simply can't cut!

              Comment Hidden ( show )
            • I do believe you. Now how do I actually get the courage to finally leave for the last time?

              I've left too many times already and then I see myself back together again. I don't even know how to process all this.

              Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Thank you all for the 25 yes votes. Now part of me wants to know why the 1 voted against me leaving...

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • factcheck

      The person/people voting against you leaving are likely coming from the type of person you're trying to leave. Controlling, emotionally abusive narcissists stick together.

      You can do it. You can cut him out of your life forever and move on.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • Interesting assumption. Although I've just read a new comment saying not to leave and work things out. It's not going to work ever so I believe all of you helping me are absolutely right.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • lordofopinions

          All of us say LEAVE and only one person says "stay." That should tell you something. Every time you go back it reinforces his control over you. It's getting worse not better I would be willing to bet.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
  • DoujinMySchool101

    Leave it, and don't think twice about it. Leave and never look back, it'll be best for you.

    Might I also add that you'll stop finding him attractive if you make your mind up and stay away for long enough, I've seen it happen multiple times.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • I try to stay away but they keep coming back from the dead!!!

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • RoseIsabella

        Don't let that nasty ole corpse of a guy back in again.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • In theory it works perfectly but then he charms me back in... you know?

          Comment Hidden ( show )
            -
          • RoseIsabella

            That's why you go no contact.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
              -
            • I will try that and hope I can do it. I've blocked him more than once and then caught myself trying to find any messages from him in spam folders or unblocking him from IM services.

              Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Cuntsiclestick

    In cases like this you have to try hard to put the feelings of love aside and leave this person. If they're truly toxic, it's only going to wind up making you feel dead inside. Don't wait around for that to happen.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • I do feel dead inside...

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • IrishPotato

    Is he trying his best?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • DoujinMySchool101

      Someone's best isn't always good enough.

      And I'd bet that no he isn't.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • True... in reality he's not trying at all.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
    • No, I'm the only one trying here...

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • dirtybirdy

    Run, run ,run.. run run awaAaaay

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • I'm trying soooooo hard!!! The comments here have helped me a lot. I might just finally be capable of it... I've tried it for over 7 years. Hoping this is the lucky number... :(

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • bigbudchonga

    What makes it so toxic?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • anonY123

    Don't leave, talk to your partner and work things out. Communication is key to solving problems. You can do it! gl :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • I wish it were the case but it definitely is not. But thanks :)

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • ysgadksjab

    In the same situation, stuck in an abusive relationship because I signed a lease with my boyfriend I cant get out of. Maybe we can find the courage to leave together

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • That would be nice! How is yours abusive if I may ask?

      Comment Hidden ( show )
  • EnglishLad

    Every single toxic relationship should be cut ties with as soon as possible and the abuser in the relationship should be dealt with by a legal team swiftly.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Storm_Chaser

    My honest opinion is yes. But I didn’t put a vote out, because this isn’t a site you should use to seek relationship advice. I don’t want that to influence your decision, it’s your life and you know what’s best for you - not us!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Fetiza000

    How exactly is it toxic?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • rayb12

    Buy him a chastity cage

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • I keep believing it will all go back to what it was in the first few months. And it never happens, of course.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • RoseIsabella

      Go to YouTube, and look up a guy called Richard Grannon, he has a lot of good videos on narcissistic abuse.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • Thank you so much for the recommendation. I'm completely in love with this man and ready to move on and into his house! lol

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • RoseIsabella

          Hey, I saw him first. HAHAHAHA!

          Comment Hidden ( show )
            -
          • HAHA! but I'm ready to marry him! :( I kid, thanks that you were kind enough to share!! I have been watching him speak for hours now!!!

            Comment Hidden ( show )
  • RoseIsabella

    You gotta leave that crazy ole harpy.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • I know I do but my heart speaks louder than my intellect. 💔

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • RoseIsabella

        Break up with the person, and start learning about narcissistic abuse! Seriously, google narcissistic abuse. Also go no contact. Block the person from all media and your phone as well. Move if you have to do so, and or take out a restraining order against this awful abusive person!

        Find a good therapist, and a support group with whom you can meet as well.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • I will google it, thank you. He really is awful and I think I just stay out of habit. It's so hard for me to leave anyone I have a relationship with because I rarely let anyone in. It's even harder to let go if it was extremely good in the beginning.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
            -
          • RoseIsabella

            Everyone is on their best behavior in the beginning. The beginning for a narcissistic abuser is the time to love bomb you, and get you hooked. The abuser is counting on you being hooked, and wanting the good ole days back when his mask comes off.

            When the mask comes off that is the real person, the one you knew in the beginning who was on his best behavior was just an act.

            Comment Hidden ( show )