Should i leave him?

I'm in love with a bully. I can't help it. He's the only man I've ever loved, but he treats me like shit. He pushes me around and is cruel when he forces me' into sex. Last night was especially bad, so I've written it down for you to decide what I should do. Thanks :)
I got into the house and closed the door behind me. I shouted out for Paul but I got no response so I walked up to the bedroom and put down my handbag. As I pulled my jacket off, I felt a tight grip around my arm. I let out a short cry, sure it was a burglar. I turned and I saw Paul. I relaxed, and went to give him a hug. But he had that look in his eye, like he had been drinking heavily. He gripped my other arm, and handcuffed both my hands together. I let out a sharp breath, as I was shocked. But it was the wrong thing to do. He got angry and walked around to face me. He then walked towards me and started undoing my shirt. I knew what was coming, but I hoped this time would be different so I (stupidly) let him undo all of my skirt. He then unbuckled my bra and started pulling my skirt off my hips. I was now standing, handcuffed with him facing me feeling anxious about what he would do. He reached over to me (he'd stripped me down to my thong) and he shoved me onto the bed, his hand then slid down the front of my thong, rubbing around my pussy lips, teasing me. I moaned, wanting more, pushing myself towards him. But he stopped and said 'ok my little slut, stop being selfish. Suck me'. He shoved me onto the floor and pulled out his cock and then pulled it up to my eyes. Slowly, he rammed his 6 inch cock into my mouth, making me gag. 'Suck my cum you fucking bitch.' he kept saying. He left me feeling unsatisfied on purpose. HOW COULD HE?!? I deserved more, didn't I? Or was I a 'ugly, fat, slutty bitch who can't fuck.'? Did he mean that? Was it the drink talking? Or him?...........
This was what happened. Did he treat me wrongly? I don't know. Please help.