Should I have to make me gf feel better?

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  • From what you are saying it sounds like this is a major problem. She may benefit from the sage advice of an older woman. That could be a relative, friend, colleague etc. Therapy could also work.

    Is the problem that she doesn't feel attractive? Often this plagues young women because there is enormous pressure on them to be the most beautiful. I think this is something that can be hard for men to relate to - young women are told in thousands of different ways by many sources that the most important thing about them is how they look. Plenty of them will even receive this message from their own mother. She has to learn to cut through the shit. Yeah, being hot is great, but she is capable of more. Is she working towards a goal? Does she have qualifications, skills etc? If not, why not? She can do it. If she really wants something she should chase it and work her arse off to get it. That will be a great first step towards not focusing on her looks.

    When I was a student on placement in a male dominated environment I was trying my best (and failing) to prove something but inside I was questioning everything and doubting myself. The small number of females above me in senior roles were a huge inspiration - even the one who initially seemed like a scary bitch to me. They knew exactly how to handle the sexist attitudes and deal with everything in a way that was amazing to me. They quietly held my hand through a lot of shit. I really looked up to them. All the advice and good examples I saw made me who I am today. This kind of experience can be invaluable for a young woman.

    Ultimately this is on her. You could break up tomorrow and her problems are still her own. Your job is to help and be supportive, but you can't magic self esteem out of thin air.

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