Should i give my guy friend a chance?
I have a guy friend that I went on one date with over a year ago. We had a great time but I didn't feel any attraction.
He got feelings for me fast but accepted friendship. We didn't see each other much after due to distance though.
About 7 months later we decided to give it a chance anyway. It was a mutual decision. I felt I was being stupid for not even having given him a chance and that I might regret it.
However timing was wrong for us both so it didn't go anywhere, we even lost touch for like 3 months after the date we had then. He was also in an odd position because another female friend of his from nearly 10 years back just got dumped and started flirting with him and when we lost touch they started to pursue things apparently.
He got surprised when I texted him again out of nowhere one day, but happy.
He went to visit her recently (she lives even further away from him, much further than I) but was extremely miserable. We texted a lot and the topic came up about our last date and he regretted how that turned out. I agreed but said it probably wasn't our time. We then decided to make more of an effort to at least hang out more often. He obviously still has feelings for me and I on and off question my feelings for him but attraction is still missing...
He makes me happy though. I loved my exes so much but they never made me happy in that way. I will text this guy friend of mine when i'm feeling down for example just because he will cheer me up, he doesn't even need to know that i'm down and I don't need to mention it - it's like his energy alone lifts me up. He is always there for me as well, whatever it is. He listens and he makes me feel better and he gets me.
He also gets on my nerves however. We are very similar people and certain things I am annoyed at myself about I see in him too.
I really wish I could grow attraction for him though because I always only feel instant attraction to men who turn out to be jerks so I have gotten sick of instant attraction - it's overrated. However i'm afraid of giving a chance to someone I don't feel that with instantly.
Can attraction really grow? And would it help if we did make an effort to see each other in person more often, like does that make a big difference?