Should i forgive my mother for her bipolor actions

My mother is bipolor. She clung to me a long time and prevented me from getting a job, a driver liscense, having freinds or tslking to extended family. When I saw her family she be mad if they were happy to see me, told me I deserved a beating, lash out and throw things and scream at me. When I saw freinds she hated everyone so I stopped seeing my freinds. When I wanted to learn to drive at 18 so I could get a job in security she did everything to prevent it. I know bipolorism can cuase psychotic episodes and severe mood swings sometimes even on medication. When she got a new husband she told him to treat me and my younger sibling bad becuase we deserved it for being awful children. I know she has a disorder so should I forgive her? Or hope she rots in the deepest pits of hell one day like I been praying for every night? I left at 20 and moved away. Im safer now but she wants me to come back. Im scarred she might try to kill me like she kept threatening before?

Is It Normal?
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  • It’s up to you on forgiving but if you’re threatened and feel uncomfortable about seeing her again then don’t do it. If I was in your spot I’d lose her number and get away from her for good. Ik we all got problems but if she’s out of control like that you got every right to keep distance.

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  • I don't know what wishing harm on her does to benefit anyone, but I can certainly understand that you wouldn't want this in your life anymore.

    You don't have to forgive her for anything. You need to do what helps you. Whether that's forgiving but not forgetting, or just no longer acknowledging her existence...or whatever...it's whatever you need for you.

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  • My mother was bipolar. All I can say is you have to protect yourself and not let her drag you down. Understand that she is ill and let her know you love her but will not accept abusive behaviour.

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  • Cut off all connections with her, she sounds an abusive bitch.

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  • I would say work to forgiveness, or at least don't carry the hate around. I was in a similar situation with my mum, she has borderline Bipolar and serious depression. There was abuse with my stepdad and shit. Don't move back dude, you'd be a fool to move back, and don't forget otherwise you could put yourself in a vulnerable situation with her again, but why bother burdening yourself with a grudge? Grudges, and especially one with your own mother, would just suck the life out of you.

    I say maintain limited contact, and then when you're in a better place try and patch things up.

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  • It sounds to me like she is on the wrong medication. The doctor should change them.

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  • You know that having a mental disorder isn't an excuse for being abusive? Don't come back to her. Stay away as far as possible.

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  • You have free will, which means that you can choose whether, or not you want to forgive her. I certainly don't think that you should forgive, and forget. If you choose to forgive her for your own serenity, and piece of mind it would be a good thing, but forgiveness should not mean reconciliation in this case. You don't owe her crazy ass a damn thing!

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  • What you are describing isn't bipolar disorder. Perhaps she has an undiagnosed comorbid issue you aren't aware of.

    Regardless. You can forgive someone without having them in your life, or putting up with their abuse.

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