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I am a female and trying to be a good Christian, but from time to time I tend to get horny and watch male gay porn. I feel like there is something wrong with me because after i cum I get disgusted and feel bad that I just watched it.
If you feel that bad just don't watch it anymore before it becomes a major addiction. Get involved doing something else for fun...
Well, you are not hung up on masturbation, so you can thank god for that.
You don't have a problem achieving orgasm, like 25% of the female population, so you can thank god for that too.
A very eminent research female sexologist did a study to try and clarify just what were some common themes that stimulate people's libidos. She took people, sat them in a room with sensors attached to their head, their body and their privates and then had them view a series of photographs. Men were very easy to categorize but women, as a group, seemed to get a buzz from just about anything and everything. From watching monkeys do it, and gay guys do it, to shopping and gardening.
I think it all comes down to the hunter/gather equation. If Adam hadn't been hiding somewhere sharpening his arrow ;) maybe Eve wouldn't have gotten so excited about finding an apple and Adam wouldn't have been so hungry.
Realistically, I think gathering requires curiosity, imagination and optimism and hunting perhaps mainly imagination and optimism.
If you feel bad, tell yourself not to worry, and go ahead and watch it again. Lots and lots of women get turned on by male gay sex. And about being a christian, you can ask yourself why your creator gave you this urge if he intended you to sit and be frustrated about it. Don't be, sex is a private thing and not something most of us speaks openly about, but it's yours, and you can have it any way you like. So if you like gay porn, don't let guilt take that away from you. Or perhaps, feel a little bit guilty while you do it, because that might be a turn-on, too, but don't be guilty afterwards.
You mentioned the Creator gave us this urge...and now some of us have to be frustrated by the guilty conscious. Nanauaraq you have it backwards. Yes sex is natural, but over the past few decades sex has gotten twisted. You mentioned sex is private. Porn is the complete opposite of this! Sex is no longer private thanks really to the Internet...because it used to be where you'd have to go out and buy a sex tape, but now it's on any mobile device, for free. And as for making her conscience making her feel disgusted...it's her inborn knowledge of what's right & wrong telling her. After a while if she keeps watching it her conscience will become pricked, and it won't really even bother her anymore.
Your religion has nothing to do with your sexuality - so leave it out. Don't fall into the delusion of what you may have been taught. If there is a God (creator of the entire universe), then he is NOT interested in the ways we have sex (or our sexual thoughts). That BS was injected by ancient societies to control ppl.
Be yourself - b/c that is the only way you can truly be happy. You don't have to share that part of you with everyone; just the people you want to be closest to. I've always been shy around most people; and kinky around the people I have the closest bond with.
Gay porn is hot because it is taboo or forbidden. If it was mainstream and something everyone saw frequently, it wouldn't be of much interest. Since it is sort of out there behavior, you enjoy it. Most would admit to the same. I have no desire to partake, but it does give me a tremendous boner.
The answer that I can come up with... Males watch 2 women have sex and enjoy it, so why can't women watch 2 males have sex and enjoy it? If you are struggling to accept yourself, it makes it harder for others to accept you for who you are. Porn is something that an individual may or may not choose to watch, now with regards to the dictation on whether you should or should not be watching it? That falls to you, if you feel so disgusted that you cannot watch it anymore then try to find another interest that peaks your curiosity and you feel you can comfortably orgasm to whilst watching? Whereas you seem to be enjoying watching gay porn and getting off to that.
If you don't already, try introducing toys into your masturbation and see if they change your outlook on things, or try other things. If you try everything and nothing works then my best advice would be to try to find another form of porn to watch instead of gay porn, for example threesome porn or male masturbation? Something you feel may help you to achieve that orgasm without having the feeling afterwards that you appear not to like?
Hopefully I helped you in some way, all the best.
Frigging yourself senseless whilst watching Gay porn has nothing to do with whether you are a good Christian or not.
If you truly believe God made everything, then it logically follows he gave us the ability to Masturbate and to produce and watch Porn of all kinds.
So stop feeling guilty, frig away and enjoy.
finally, get a webcam so we can all watch please.