Should i ask to become sex buddies?

13 Comments

So lately I've been rather lonely, I've only ever had the one girlfriend and therefore one sexual partner, and that was three years ago.

And lately I've been thinking a lot about a friend of mine, let's call her Stephanie (Because I'd rather not use her name), lately Stephanie and I have been hanging around more than usual and I've been having the urges.

Problem is, I've known her for years, and I worry that asking her to be sex buddies could damage our friendship, something she obviously values a lot. (I don't want to be a relationship with her because I like her a lot, but I don't like her lifestyle or any of her friends).

She did twice claim she'd prefer to sleep with me than with my other friends she knows, but I think that was hypothetical rather than an actual offer.

But what does anybody else think? Should I ask her, or should I not for reasons?

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  • Incomplet
    9 years ago | pl

    Tough situation.

    Just remember that when you lose a friendship, it's usually relatively permanent. Sex buddies can call it quits within days or weeks if you two aren't compatible, someone gets into a relationship etc.

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    • KayDeeBee
      9 years ago | pl

      This is true, I fully expect her to get an actual relationship before me and call it quite fairly early if it happens. But as for sexual compatibility, she's pretty open minded, she's very sexually active and the guys she's slept with vary widely.

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  • Haddaway
    9 years ago | pl

    What is love?!

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago | pl

    I've always thought that honesty was by far the best policy. I think this drivel about "ruining" a friendship because you might want to take it to a different level, is crap. A friend is a friend and one should be able to discuss anything with a friend. She'll probably be flattered, even if uninterested, and think no more about it. It's actually going to be on you and how you handle rejection, if that's the way it goes, which will determine the stability of the friendship.

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    • KayDeeBee
      9 years ago | pl

      That's true. One time she accidentally exposed herself to me and we still laugh and joke about it so I'm hopeful that asking this'll be the same. In theory anyway.

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  • mountain-man82
    9 years ago | pl

    Id ask her, but do it in a way that wont scare her off as a friend. I dont know her, so I cant give advise on how to proceed with asking her.

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  • Fall_leaves
    9 years ago | pl

    If you value your friendship with her I wouldn't sleep with her. Find someone outside your group of friends if you're just wanting a fling, it's not worth jeopardizing your friendship.

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    • KayDeeBee
      9 years ago | pl

      That's the thing, I don't know if I'd be able to just have a fling (heh, rhymes). I'm not the kind of guy to just sleep with anybody, the only reason I'm considering this girl is BECAUSE I know her so well.

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  • disthing
    9 years ago | pl

    Seems weird to me that you'd have to ask.

    I would have thought, if you were both sexually attracted to each other, it would have happened naturally by now.

    "She did twice claim she'd prefer to sleep with me than with my other friends she knows"

    That's at least reassuring, that she might be interested. Maybe bring it up in casual conversation - I mean you could just say that if she wanted to be friends with benefits, you'd be up for it, purely platonic. Not sure how well it would go down, but only one way to find out.

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    • KayDeeBee
      9 years ago | pl

      I dunno, I'm not very spontaneous like that. My ex-girlfriend I was too awkward with so I had to directly ask too. But she is my ex so I guess that's not a good example.

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  • Sexyhotbabe
    9 years ago | pl

    If you two are close enough like sister close,i bet you she would say yes.i did this with one of my close friends and she said fuck ya! So good luck and play it cool

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  • handsignals
    9 years ago | pl

    All the way with Stephanie Kay!

    Seriously though, it's easy just say "a lot of people have sex buddies these days, I used to think it was weird but now I kind of like the idea" you'll be able to judge the sitch by her reaction.

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  • LyeByMistake
    9 years ago | pl

    I knew a slut named stephanie once, I said hell no. Cool story tho.

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