If you're looking for a long-term relationship, then I would hope that anyone you consider a potential partner would hang around long enough for you to discuss, at least in general outline, your personal history and why you have trust issues. Anybody worthy of your long-term attention should be willing to give you at least a little time to work things out in your head and feel more confident about him. If they're not willing to do that, you can be sure they're really not that interested in you.
If you're just looking for hook-ups, then I guess you just have to sort this out on your own, since it's probably not the sort of thing you want to dump into that sort of conversation.
Anyway, it's not like having an active sex life involving other people is a requirement to be a fully-fledged member of the human race. Abstinence - or solo sex - is a valid choice. The only question is what you need to be happy.
There are about 3 billion men in the world, so the idea that there's one "Mr Right" and you might "shoot him down" is, frankly, silly. Assuming you're not a totally unique weirdo, there will be a lot of guys with whom you could be happy (assuming you're both willing to do the normal sort of work necessary for all relationships).
Finally, do I read your question right? You went back to the guy you had the really bad break-up with? This was the child-porn guy?
So you're rejecting other guys who might be great or at least okay, but you're willing to give another chance to someone who you _know_ hurt you, and who you _know_ to have serious issues?
If that is what happened, don't you think that's a little... strange? Are you really that desperate?
Sexless for 5 years IIN After a breakup?
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If you're looking for a long-term relationship, then I would hope that anyone you consider a potential partner would hang around long enough for you to discuss, at least in general outline, your personal history and why you have trust issues. Anybody worthy of your long-term attention should be willing to give you at least a little time to work things out in your head and feel more confident about him. If they're not willing to do that, you can be sure they're really not that interested in you.
If you're just looking for hook-ups, then I guess you just have to sort this out on your own, since it's probably not the sort of thing you want to dump into that sort of conversation.
Anyway, it's not like having an active sex life involving other people is a requirement to be a fully-fledged member of the human race. Abstinence - or solo sex - is a valid choice. The only question is what you need to be happy.
There are about 3 billion men in the world, so the idea that there's one "Mr Right" and you might "shoot him down" is, frankly, silly. Assuming you're not a totally unique weirdo, there will be a lot of guys with whom you could be happy (assuming you're both willing to do the normal sort of work necessary for all relationships).
Finally, do I read your question right? You went back to the guy you had the really bad break-up with? This was the child-porn guy?
So you're rejecting other guys who might be great or at least okay, but you're willing to give another chance to someone who you _know_ hurt you, and who you _know_ to have serious issues?
If that is what happened, don't you think that's a little... strange? Are you really that desperate?