Sex while sleeping

Is it normal that my boyfriend always tries to have sex with me while I'm sleeping? Especially if I fall asleep while we are watching a movie or TV together. I will be extremely tired but keep being awoken by him touching me inappropriately. And no matter how much I yell at him or practically cry, he still does it as soon as I start falling back asleep. He's done it completely before and knows how upset I was by it so he acts like he's so sorry and that he's only done it those couple times, but obviously I know he's still trying to do it. Sometimes I feel like he only likes me while I'm sleeping ... like he seems totally uninterested in sex while I'm awake and when I want it, but as soon as I am sleeping he is so turned on and touches me in ways he never touches me while I'm awake. Isn't this rape or sexual assault or something?

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38% Normal
Based on 821 votes (312 yes)
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Comments ( 56 )
  • roymer

    Have you tried pretending to be asleep ?

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    • davesumba

      the pretending part is what will work against you, because you can obviously tell when people are not asleep, so the way they take it is that you are awake and aren't saying no, so they continue.

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  • Watchthewall

    Maybe he should be dating a narcoleptic instead.

    Think of the guy at the party who prays on the people who drank wayyy too much and passed out.

    Now tell me if you think that guy is normal

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  • MY GIRLFRIEND GOES TO SLEEP AFTER WE HAVE HAD SEX BUT I LEAVE IT IN HER SO WHEN SHE SLEEPS I CAN STROKE MY SELF IN HER MY GIRLFRIEND LOVES THIS SHE CUMMED A COUPLE OF TIMES ALL OVER ME WHILE SHE SLEEPS, THIS CANT BE RAPE IF SHE LIKES THIS!

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  • Yha it's rape any sex you don't want is

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  • Proudfear

    yeah kinda, and it is a fetish maybe hes to shy or watever to touch you lke that while your awake that or hes a douche bag

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  • Orhlixyone

    Law of the land is, if you don't concent, it is rape or the very least, disrespectful; sleep or awake.

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  • anabolic19

    yes thats rape love either get rid of him or tell him to stop being a fucking dick
    you need to start being tough next time he does it hit him in the nuts or grab them and twist
    theres a fetish called sleep assault and it sounds like hes trying to do this with you
    you shouldnt be with some one whos trying to rape you

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  • xmegwoodx

    Btw before I really got to know him, one of his friends told me that he wanted to become a mortician. Also he used to choke me, sometimes into unconsciousness. Since I posted this question, I have left him because he had broken into my home several times and attacked me, breaking all the phones and beating me. I had to call the cops on him. So to anyone in this same situation, I would suggest taking it seriously! It is a sign of something very wrong. Don't put up with it. =)

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  • U better go make him a god damn sandwich

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    • theProf.

      ok look if you are NOT ok with this then get a restraining order and haul his ass int court and press rape charges!!! if you are ok with it then go on doing it! my Fiancee once had a convo with me and asked me something wierd.....she asked me if i could have sex with her whuile she slept as she is having issues coming to the grips of getting over the fear of losing her virginity. y she likes it this way idk. it kinda creeps me out but im ok with it.......it is kinda hot! but look if this guy is doing this to you and you dont like it....seriously next time....wait there should be NO NEXT TIME!!! get him out fo your life and keep him away for your own safety!!!

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  • b454

    Whoa that's odd. Like some people were saying, he may be a rapist in the making, or maybe hes secretly into dead bodies and he's pretending your a corpse. I'd say get away from this character

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  • So what exactly does he say when you talk to him about it? Is he vague & evasive? Because i get the impression that he doesn't relate to you sexually for who you are in the real "conscious" world, but has sexual fantasies that he feels are OK to act on when you are asleep (Unconscious). And that is pretty disturbing. I think you ned to re-evaluate this relationship.

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  • g-dog740

    im a dude im not gay but i would never do that to my girl i only would do it the girl whats it

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  • mike631

    It's rape if you don't want him to do it, but if you do it's not rape.

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  • Mikeyburger1

    its rape if u want it to be, but if he knows u dont like it then thats not a good thing

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  • juliaa

    That's insanely creepy. That's almost rape. Necrophilia. WTF

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    • ZIZZZ

      Necrophilia - Erotic attraction to or sexual contact with corpses

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  • FlyingSheilds

    He must really trust you to do that.

    Tell him, not while he's doing it and sexually physiced to stop. He will try if he does it out of loving you, or thinking that you're going to love waking up this way.

    If he doesn't stop after a few days...Then I'll call it rape...

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  • TheChosenOne

    Are you sure that he isn't asleep? Sexsomnia. Google it.

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  • russellnb

    Rape? Why do you sleep with him there when you know this is what he will do. I think maybe you like it but want to claim innocence.

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    • SamuraiPeeper

      Fuck off. That's a terrible thing to say,russelwhatever. It is way inappropiate and you should think seriously about ending the relationship.

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    • Mystery_User

      I agree with you russellnb that mostlikely is 100% true

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  • Msbecky

    Your boyfriend has rapist tendencies i would leave

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  • ClaireS

    ok don't hit him in the nuts if he trys it again tht could backfire MAJORLY.
    The Bad Scinerio..
    Men that have these types of fantasies like to know that they can control or do what they want. And the fact that you tell him no and even cry and he still continues just shows he doesn't care what you want. You can google this if you'd like to. One of the first stages of an abusive man is trying to have sex while your sleeping.
    The Good Scinerio...
    Alot of people are turned on by being forced to have sex or forcing sex so it could just be that he has the fantasy. So discuss it with him. You can still have a healthy non threatening relationship if that is the case and you both are willing.

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  • Deranged

    I doubt he's only interested in you while you're asleep, but people get turned on by different things. He wants you completely submissive and for him it's probably a huge power trip. Maybe let him do it occasionaly and tell him he can only do it on the nights you say.

    Maybe it's rape he's into - if it is, ask him if he wants to fuck you while you're struggling instead (if you're comfortable with that). If this is what he's into at least he's not shy about you knowing that this turns him on.

    Relationships are about compromise, good and bad, maybe you have something he can do in return :) - plus, all your sex isnt going to be like this, kinky sex is something you don't have to do all the time, just occasionaly to spice things up!

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  • Bubear50

    You can end this quite quickly. The problem is that you have never thought of this. Next time you plan some TV time put an object that is easy to grab and hit with like a candle stick holder (the large brass ones).

    Then when he tries to play the assault/rape game whack him real hard in the balls and say STOP IT!!! If he threatens to call the cops telll him you will file rape charges on him. Problem solved!!!

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    • fluffyshem

      Uhh, he might get mad and hit her if she pulls something like that on him.

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  • lovinsqueezes

    AND, you could be waiting till he is sleeping and squeeze his nuts just hard enough to induce a paralysis nightmare whereby you can hold him for as long as you like, but not hard enough to wake him. There's a pressure that you can apply just hard enough to do this. My wife does it to me sometimes. She knows I like it though but it is very torturous. It works. Try it. You can hold him for many minutes and he's helpless as a baby and trys to murmer help and aquirm and sometimes my wife says even my slight murmers are high pitched and everything. She loves to do it to see me suffer in my sleep sometimes when she wants a laugh.

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    • kittyjibblets

      that's fucked up.

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    • jizzer

      Funny

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  • WayOutThere

    This touching you while you are asleep seems like a symptom of a more basic problem in the relationship. I don't know, but I would venture to guess that you are the dominant one, and he has trouble dealing with that, and that there is something unhealthy about the sex (while awake). The fact that you would use the words "rape" and "sexual assault" when referring to your own boyfriend suggests there is something seriously wrong.

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  • lovinsqueezes

    It just figures that a girl that would have a boyfriend close enough to sleep with him would call something rape that happens in the bedroom. No matter how it goes down. You're way over reacting. Ig you sleep with him, you've already consented to whatever happens in sex play.

    If he does anything that you don't like, even it it is chewing his freakin fingernails, and he won't change for you, and it really bothers you, leave. Dumbass.

    One other thing, did you stop to think that maybe he is trying to send you a message that maybe HE wants YOU to play with his balls while HE is asleep? Dumbass. You're missing a supremem opportunity to tickle his balls and make him have nightmares while he's sleeping. If you think a guy feels helpless when his balls are being tortured when conscious, it's even worse when you start having a nightmare of someone gettin yer balls while sleeping and you can't fight back.

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    • TornApart

      Legally, not true at all. Each sex act needs actual and true consent of both partners for it not to be rape.

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    • jizzer

      @lovinsqueezes. youre wild dude

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  • gloryholeflasher

    I have woken my wife many times by kissing my way down her abdomen to her thighs and finally settling in to kiss her lips and licking her vagina and gently sucking on her clit. I know from experience from the first time I did this that she does not mind at all. She always wakes up and joins the party.
    I would never do something like that if she protested or told me not to. I can't get excited or enthused about having sex with somebody who isn't a willing participant.

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  • dottie4000

    Yes it is kinda normal.

    Your boyfriend has what is know as somnophilia, a sexual desire to have sexual relations with a person who is sleeping or unconscious of the act being performed.

    It is considered however a form of rape if it the intention are to perform this sexual act without the person's prior consent and knowledge.

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  • vain

    Its not abnormal to me. I get turned on by it also but not if my gf woke up and says stop. Its just the attraction that you can do whatever to the person i guess even though I've only just had sex cuddling. My gf liked it. *shrugs*

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  • ibreathelectric

    Being raped in your sleep... that's a new one. GET RID Of HIM YESTERDAY. Why the hell are you putting up with that?!?!?!

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  • Terence_the_viking

    Chop his dick off

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  • iamwhoisayiam

    And what is it with this pedofile thing. Did I miss a comment? Is the poster under 18 or looks twelve and is he over 18 or way older?

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  • iamwhoisayiam

    Rape is anytime she says no. Even in the middle of sex. You men and your self justification make the line so gray for your purposes. If she says no you go to jail. My close friend and I were making out. We started but it hurt. I asked him to stop. LIKE YOU I CRIED TOO. He didn't stop. Now the one std I did catch in my life, HSV2, and now I gotta worry about birthing my kids or infecting my husband reminds me of that day everytime. He didn't get it for YEARS it was rape. Like some men here from what he saw and where him mind and hormones were that minute he didn't know. Like the difference between stealing with jail time and borrowing is does the owner know and verbally give consent.

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  • iamwhoisayiam

    Its a fetish. I have it too. I'm a female. Look up sleeping porn. There's whole sites dedicated to it. I'm willing to bet he masturbates to it too. Unfortunately its a form of rape fetish. Its not percieved to the individual as rape because the person is asleep however if you tell him not to its rape and can be as violating. My ex used to do this to me hence how I got my fetish but I'm super freaky like that. I can go all the way to dom if he loves it.

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    • vain

      I didn't know it was a form of rape fetish. It turns me on but the thought of rape honestly doesn't. I'm too caring of the participating female.

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  • o did he have a small dick maybe thats why

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  • i guess i would say its the secant best thing to jacking off its not necrophilia its not Pedophile its just that the guy was wanting to jack his dick off so he did that instead of jacking off thats all it was hes not a rapist i really do think that you probably liked and enjoyed it theirs a shit load of sex sites on here just like this what he did to you like on <a href="http://www.pornpros.com" rel="nofollow">www.pornpros.com</a> and <a href="http://www.SleepAssault.com" rel="nofollow">www.SleepAssault.com</a> i want you to go look at these sites and tell me what you think of them and on www.slutload.com

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  • SweetSherry

    Your boyfriend is into weird sex its not normal what he's doing to you its rape get rid of him I really think he's either has rape tendencies or he's into sex with dead people that's how Ted Bundy liked having sex with his girlfriend made her pretend she was dead no matter how hard he was pounding her she wasn't allowed to make a sound but still at least she knew that he wanted her to play dead you have no choice don't listen to the fucked up people above saying its not rape and you're wrong to sleep with him they're losers who are trying to put the blame on you don't hit him in the nuts either he may react with violence just leave him good luck !

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  • sex_bi

    When u r awake,even u seduce him,he also dun wan bother u.?all d best to u

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  • thats actually a disease that very few people have they can sleep sex the can sleep call and even sleep drive

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  • sickjuice

    maybe you need to sit down with him and be honest, and have a little chat. It could be an unforfilled fantasy of his that you do not know about. If he is your boyfriend then you should be able to trust each other and respect one anothers opinions and feelings

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  • Pedifile

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  • SuperLouis

    necrophilia

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  • SALMAN

    i do that with my girlfriend but i will just lick her pussy so she does not wake up

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  • SomNinja

    Lovinsqueezes you scare me lol!

    Normal? What is 'normal'?

    Somnophilia is far more common than people will have you believe, and it's actually more of a female fantasy! I have blogs on MySpace under this name for anyone who wants to go into more depth.

    If you're allowing him to sleep with you then it's not rape. If you think it may be rape then what the Hell are you doing sleeping with him???

    Ever thought about waking your boyfriend up with a blowjob? Because that's Somnophilia as well - but chances are he won't claim it's a rape. ;)

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  • Alaskaraven

    You want to see what he's into? FAKE asleep, and respond to what he's doing. If he stops, he IS into sex w/ dead ppl and is fantasizing while accosting you.

    In that case, LOSE him fast. P.S. does he prefer you feel hot or cold to the touch?

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  • RosaFoetida

    maybe he has sleeping sex fetish haha
    actually why he does that is the same as addicted to playing games or masturbating.He get's turns on when you are asleep and cant do anything,maybe you should try doing it with him and enjoy been rape while sleeping which happens lots of times in hentai :D

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