Yeah, those guys are jerks, but there are women who do the same things. These are just behavior's of controlling codependent people who have an over inflated sense of self importance. Male or female I'm reasonably sure that the many of the type of people you're describing are actual narcissists.
I suspect that you perhaps work in a male dominated field, and that many of the men with whom you work feel entitled to offer you their unsolicited advice and opinions. I could be wrong of course.
I don't want to slam an entire gender of course, but your frustration is understandable. I personally feel that you just want to vent and that you are in need of some validation perhaps.
It would be really nice if other women didn't defend male entitlement, that's all I really ask, but it would also be nice if more women would take the initiative to stand up and say that the way they're treated by men isn't okay. If you're okay, that's great, but suggesting that my objections to misogyny are related to my job is just othering and not helpful to the cause of women's rights at all.
You're free to interpret my comments however you so choose. Please understand that I'm no fan of misogyny, nor am I a friend of the so called patriarchy.
I have indeed stood up to guys, and told them off. However, I don't think that everything has to come down to a massive battle of the sexes. I figure some people are big assholes, and some not so much. Yes, what you have described is annoying, and even maddening, but there are far worse issues facing women and girls in the third world than whether or not some giant douchebag has nerve to try to tell me what I need to do to be sexy to other losers like himself.
Honestly, I prefer to just tell those dudes that I don't give a shit what they find attractive, and that they ought not to flatter themselves thinking that I would ever want attention from someone like them. Now there is always the inevitable chance of being called *gasp* a bitch, but I try not to get too upset, because to me a bitch is a big, vicious, snarling female wolf. For me and my own personal sanity it's a matter of perspective.
Yes, if you want to vent then look to the third world. Setting your children on fire should be something everyone should fight. Beating a thirteen year old girl to death because her was raped. That you can be mad at.
But OP before you start saying "see all men are evil" Did you know men can't be legally raped in India. If a man is raped he can't press charges. Like when a woman foreigner kidnapped held and raped a man for three days straight. She was deported as her punishment.
It's not about one little thing, it's one issue that's representative of a much much bigger problem. I'm also not talking about The Patriarchy™ like it's an organization, but it is a thing and it's destructive, especially to women. It enables institutions to discriminate against people who aren't men. I'm intentionally provoking men here because a lot of them have never had to question things that other people live with every day and they don't know how to be responsible for how their actions affect other people, but all it takes sometimes for someone to become aware is for a person to stand up and say, "This thing is fucked up," and present information about how it's symptomatic of a really big complicated problem for people to wake up to that bigger problem and care more about how they treat other people. It's not just a pissed off woman bitching on the internet, it's a form of activism and education because even if the guys who comment here and say incredibly stupid shit that I then use as yet another jumping off point, someone is going to come through and read some or maybe all of this page and learn something. Not to mention, I can take all of what I wrote here and incorporate into my actual professional writing on this subject. I think where any movement can get tied down is when it stops communicating directly with its oppressors and relies solely on its own academia.
Seriously Guys..
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Yeah, those guys are jerks, but there are women who do the same things. These are just behavior's of controlling codependent people who have an over inflated sense of self importance. Male or female I'm reasonably sure that the many of the type of people you're describing are actual narcissists.
I suspect that you perhaps work in a male dominated field, and that many of the men with whom you work feel entitled to offer you their unsolicited advice and opinions. I could be wrong of course.
I don't want to slam an entire gender of course, but your frustration is understandable. I personally feel that you just want to vent and that you are in need of some validation perhaps.
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rayb12
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Ellenna
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Rose <3
Women who publicly insult male complete strangers about their appearance? Really? Where does this happen?
Read the post: it didn't happen in her workplace and the issue is about living in a male dominated WORLD, don't you get it?
My longstanding respect for your intelligence even when I don't agree with you has just evaporated into thin air.
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Hateful1
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You've never seen that happen? Really? I've never actually seen this happen to women from men but it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
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I Never seen this from either gender. Y'all work with some childish ass plebs
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Come to think of it, you're right...
I've had it happen to me. I've had women laugh at me because of my appearance. I just happen to have the self-esteem not to care.
And again your attacking another women for her own point of view.
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Where's the attack? If you mean disagreeing, how is that an attack?
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In your response to Rose. "the issue is about living in a male dominated WORLD, don't you get it?
My longstanding respect for your intelligence even when I don't agree with you has just evaporated into thin air."
No. No contempt there.
It would be really nice if other women didn't defend male entitlement, that's all I really ask, but it would also be nice if more women would take the initiative to stand up and say that the way they're treated by men isn't okay. If you're okay, that's great, but suggesting that my objections to misogyny are related to my job is just othering and not helpful to the cause of women's rights at all.
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RoseIsabella
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You're free to interpret my comments however you so choose. Please understand that I'm no fan of misogyny, nor am I a friend of the so called patriarchy.
I have indeed stood up to guys, and told them off. However, I don't think that everything has to come down to a massive battle of the sexes. I figure some people are big assholes, and some not so much. Yes, what you have described is annoying, and even maddening, but there are far worse issues facing women and girls in the third world than whether or not some giant douchebag has nerve to try to tell me what I need to do to be sexy to other losers like himself.
Honestly, I prefer to just tell those dudes that I don't give a shit what they find attractive, and that they ought not to flatter themselves thinking that I would ever want attention from someone like them. Now there is always the inevitable chance of being called *gasp* a bitch, but I try not to get too upset, because to me a bitch is a big, vicious, snarling female wolf. For me and my own personal sanity it's a matter of perspective.
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OMG, thank you Rose.
Yes, if you want to vent then look to the third world. Setting your children on fire should be something everyone should fight. Beating a thirteen year old girl to death because her was raped. That you can be mad at.
But OP before you start saying "see all men are evil" Did you know men can't be legally raped in India. If a man is raped he can't press charges. Like when a woman foreigner kidnapped held and raped a man for three days straight. She was deported as her punishment.
Still love ya Rose.
It's not about one little thing, it's one issue that's representative of a much much bigger problem. I'm also not talking about The Patriarchy™ like it's an organization, but it is a thing and it's destructive, especially to women. It enables institutions to discriminate against people who aren't men. I'm intentionally provoking men here because a lot of them have never had to question things that other people live with every day and they don't know how to be responsible for how their actions affect other people, but all it takes sometimes for someone to become aware is for a person to stand up and say, "This thing is fucked up," and present information about how it's symptomatic of a really big complicated problem for people to wake up to that bigger problem and care more about how they treat other people. It's not just a pissed off woman bitching on the internet, it's a form of activism and education because even if the guys who comment here and say incredibly stupid shit that I then use as yet another jumping off point, someone is going to come through and read some or maybe all of this page and learn something. Not to mention, I can take all of what I wrote here and incorporate into my actual professional writing on this subject. I think where any movement can get tied down is when it stops communicating directly with its oppressors and relies solely on its own academia.