By asking mainstream society if what you're doing is normal you have entirely botched the ideal you are attempting to represent. Other than that, I think you could improve your methods, i.e instead of doing something in privacy to rebel against mainstream culture, just behave any way that you want to. This way you are expressing your ideals and not having to clean blood off of your bathroom floor.
Self harm in order to reach enlightenment. Is this insane?
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By asking mainstream society if what you're doing is normal you have entirely botched the ideal you are attempting to represent. Other than that, I think you could improve your methods, i.e instead of doing something in privacy to rebel against mainstream culture, just behave any way that you want to. This way you are expressing your ideals and not having to clean blood off of your bathroom floor.