Roast chicken preparation
The night I prepare my roast chicken, I make sure a few hours before hand I eat a high abundance of beef kebabs, ensuring each kebab has an extra drizzle of rich garlic sauce. After allowing the food to digest for at least an hour (1.5 hours is preferred), I then proceed to grab my trusty jar of metamucil, which really stimulates the bowels and gets the glarg moving along, and add 4 heaped teaspoons to a glass of icy cold water. I down the metamucil in seconds and instantly feel the glarg travelling towards the bowels, ready for a smelly explosion. This is when I know I can finish preparing my roast chicken. I skillfully squat over the roast chicken and do a huge ripper, which is the only seasoning my chicken needs. I place the chicken in its baking dish into the oven, and embrace the rich aroma of beef and garlic as it slowly intensifies the longer it cooks. IIN?