If that is how you feel about X, how could you NOT say something?
There's a lot of passion in your words. The feeling is likely to be mutual.
The thing that holds me back, in those types of situations, is not necessarily a fear of rejection, but the consequences of getting exactly what I want.
A fear of hurting people. And something about 'the devil you do know is sometimes better than the angel you don't'. You know, stuff like that.
Actually, I was discussing this with a friend of mine tonight. She argued that the pain of change & adventure is worth it. When I asked her why, she said that she couldn't imagine spending years of her life being unhappy just because it is safer.
I'm not sure I want to get into the nitty-grity details on IIN; there are some things that are still too private for me to share here. I fear turmoil and even rejection, which makes me cautious. Adventure would be great if it came with a guarantee of success.
But adventure is not adventure if success is guaranteed! What fun is a game that's impossible to lose? I don't think that we should think of these things in terms of a duality of adventure vs. safety (although I know I phrased it like that myself), I just think we should be safe enough that we're free to adventure. In terms of relationships, I think we need to learn to be emotionally self-reliant enough that even "losing" won't destroy us. It's a dangerous thing for your self-worth and identity to be completely dependent on another person.
Risk in Adventure/Safety in Serenity
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:) I enjoyed reading this poll.
If that is how you feel about X, how could you NOT say something?
There's a lot of passion in your words. The feeling is likely to be mutual.
The thing that holds me back, in those types of situations, is not necessarily a fear of rejection, but the consequences of getting exactly what I want.
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11 years ago
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Thanks. I do feel pretty strongly about it.
Why does the idea of reciprocation hold you back?
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[Old Memory]
11 years ago
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A fear of hurting people. And something about 'the devil you do know is sometimes better than the angel you don't'. You know, stuff like that.
Actually, I was discussing this with a friend of mine tonight. She argued that the pain of change & adventure is worth it. When I asked her why, she said that she couldn't imagine spending years of her life being unhappy just because it is safer.
I'm not sure I want to get into the nitty-grity details on IIN; there are some things that are still too private for me to share here. I fear turmoil and even rejection, which makes me cautious. Adventure would be great if it came with a guarantee of success.
--
Anonymous Post Author
11 years ago
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But adventure is not adventure if success is guaranteed! What fun is a game that's impossible to lose? I don't think that we should think of these things in terms of a duality of adventure vs. safety (although I know I phrased it like that myself), I just think we should be safe enough that we're free to adventure. In terms of relationships, I think we need to learn to be emotionally self-reliant enough that even "losing" won't destroy us. It's a dangerous thing for your self-worth and identity to be completely dependent on another person.