I mean props to you, for at least being intellectually consistent. If It happened again I would definitely consider it more but I feel like in the heat of the moment I'd probably do the same thing again. It is controversial and I 100% understand why someone would disagree so it's not like I think your a complete moron for disagreeing with me on this. It's a quite gray area.
I'm not what anyone needs in a man. That's how casual sex works chief. And also that's why I'm single at the moment lol.
Did you just try to insult my Brain™ and then follow it up by saying you don’t know how to use your head in emotional situations
Bro I dunno what to tell you then, I’ve never had a girl ghost me or not want to bang me again. I’m trying to put myself in your shoes but I don’t know how to feel unwanted 🥴
Well most of the girls I have sex with, have sex with lots of people. People who have lots of sex with multiple partners have less affect for each individual partner. If I'm one of 4 different guys she sees for sex then yeah I won't feel super "wanted" in an emotional way.
I just wish you wouldn't act like it's so black and white. It's a false dichotomy to say you either found the love of your life and your all set or your a promiscuous whore who has lots of partners but a bad sex life. Its possible to be "wanted" but still unhappy about your sex life and it's possible to not be "wanted" by anybody and still have a great sex life. The latter of those describes me the last 3 years.
I think my first comment to Boojum is the best way I could word how I feel about the situation.
And that may be the case that she slept around but she might be trying to cut this part of her life, what if you were the guy she decided to try to find some peace with?
I actually have a pretty close scenario happen to me, but alcohol was included so that changes it. But I had a girlfriend who took her modesty with a lot of pride, she was proud of her “cleanness” and that she could hold her composure high in a lot of situations.
Poor girl could NOT hold her liquor though.
She told me that if she ever comes on to me when she’s drunk, she wants me to tell her no, because she wanted to have a clear and coherent conscious during any sexual situations.
I suspect she had some bad sexual encounters before and this was her way to wanting to protect herself.
I listened. Goddamn was it hard, because she was a bombshell, but I listened. She was very very grateful for this and we got to introduce new stuff at her pace. It took a little while but she was really fun in bed, and she felt confident throughout it. We’re still very close friends today.
Sex is fifty times better when both people are excited to go into it, enjoy it during, and come out of it satisfied and confident. And to get that you need communication and respected boundaries
If she wanted to get serious with me, that be a no. She isn't compatible enough with me. Mainly in that shes radically liberal.
Alcohol does change things. Substance-inhibited consent is a lot more suspect than uninhibited consent when she said a few weeks ago she wanted to never consent.
That said, it's still a similar idea. And you did a good thing by listening to her. I'm not saying you shouldn't have done that. You did the BEST thing you could have done in that situation. I did NOT do the best thing I could of done. Definitely not.
Last paragraph I disagree with. That's your opinion, and it's the most popular opinion. But there isn't only one right answer. I'd rather have sex with multiple women for variety than feel super connect to one person. Obviously being connected and knowing eachothers bodies is great, don't get me wrong, it's just not the only criteria.
Even though I have never had a legit committed relationship, I have had sex with the same person a lot, and it does take dozens of times to get a really good grasp of the flow and the timing, what she likes for foreplay ect.
So I understand and agree that there is a learning curve where the sex gets better the more you have with her cause you know eachothers bodies better. But the sex also gets worse or at least less exciting because it's the same body everytime. So getting to know her well in bed makes the sex better but the same body everytime gets a little bland which overtime makes the sex worse, to me PERSONALLY.
So the best balance of both for me has been having friends with benefits or uncommitted partners. So I can have some sex with people who's bodies and style I know well while also getting novel sex and still trying to get new women in bed. The downside is emotional connection and support is less, which does suck.
Not just serious as in a relationship, even just a fwb thing. If you were to find a girl, or even a few girls, who you could build a confident connection with so you’re both on the same page and you know each others thinking, I think that would be your best bet.
Honestly you and I are on very different wavelengths when it comes to sex lmao. The only time I ever think about sex is when I’m having it. Sex is definitely one of the least important things in my life, and the idea of wanting quantity over quality just doesn’t register to me. So I feel like I’m throwing empty opinions into the wrong pond here lmao.
My bottom line is I want you to not harm anyone, or even unintentionally harm anyone. I’ve sort of picked up that you don’t seem to care about how other people feel haha, but you’re better about knowing what lines not to cross as compared to some other people.
Again I feel like I’m grasping at straws, I’m hardly qualified to give my two cents on anything you do regarding this topic. But with my limited knowledge being a complete bystander to the situation, I think it could’ve been handled better. Not much you can do about it now.
Just trying to be helpful.
Even if you called me dumb :P
I didn’t sentence you to death though, see? I’m more open minded these days ;)
I'm not saying I'm right and your wrong, I'm saying what's right for me isn't right for you and vice versa.
Also, please understand that I like people explaining why they don't like promiscuity because I have always wondered why. Just because I don't wanna change yet doesn't mean I don't care about why you have the sex life you do. If I can gain insight about a perspective I don't have, that's a win.
And like I have said, at nauseum, I know I could have done it better. This was almost 6 months ago and I was even more desperate then than I am now.
Reverse consent iin? Did I do wrong to fuck her?
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I mean props to you, for at least being intellectually consistent. If It happened again I would definitely consider it more but I feel like in the heat of the moment I'd probably do the same thing again. It is controversial and I 100% understand why someone would disagree so it's not like I think your a complete moron for disagreeing with me on this. It's a quite gray area.
I'm not what anyone needs in a man. That's how casual sex works chief. And also that's why I'm single at the moment lol.
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KholatKhult
3 years ago
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Did you just try to insult my Brain™ and then follow it up by saying you don’t know how to use your head in emotional situations
Bro I dunno what to tell you then, I’ve never had a girl ghost me or not want to bang me again. I’m trying to put myself in your shoes but I don’t know how to feel unwanted 🥴
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d0esnormalmatter
3 years ago
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Well most of the girls I have sex with, have sex with lots of people. People who have lots of sex with multiple partners have less affect for each individual partner. If I'm one of 4 different guys she sees for sex then yeah I won't feel super "wanted" in an emotional way.
I just wish you wouldn't act like it's so black and white. It's a false dichotomy to say you either found the love of your life and your all set or your a promiscuous whore who has lots of partners but a bad sex life. Its possible to be "wanted" but still unhappy about your sex life and it's possible to not be "wanted" by anybody and still have a great sex life. The latter of those describes me the last 3 years.
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KholatKhult
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KholatKhult
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Sorry if I’m ranting lmao. I just really care about protecting people’s emotions.
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d0esnormalmatter
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Lol
I think my first comment to Boojum is the best way I could word how I feel about the situation.
And that may be the case that she slept around but she might be trying to cut this part of her life, what if you were the guy she decided to try to find some peace with?
I actually have a pretty close scenario happen to me, but alcohol was included so that changes it. But I had a girlfriend who took her modesty with a lot of pride, she was proud of her “cleanness” and that she could hold her composure high in a lot of situations.
Poor girl could NOT hold her liquor though.
She told me that if she ever comes on to me when she’s drunk, she wants me to tell her no, because she wanted to have a clear and coherent conscious during any sexual situations.
I suspect she had some bad sexual encounters before and this was her way to wanting to protect herself.
I listened. Goddamn was it hard, because she was a bombshell, but I listened. She was very very grateful for this and we got to introduce new stuff at her pace. It took a little while but she was really fun in bed, and she felt confident throughout it. We’re still very close friends today.
Sex is fifty times better when both people are excited to go into it, enjoy it during, and come out of it satisfied and confident. And to get that you need communication and respected boundaries
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d0esnormalmatter
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If she wanted to get serious with me, that be a no. She isn't compatible enough with me. Mainly in that shes radically liberal.
Alcohol does change things. Substance-inhibited consent is a lot more suspect than uninhibited consent when she said a few weeks ago she wanted to never consent.
That said, it's still a similar idea. And you did a good thing by listening to her. I'm not saying you shouldn't have done that. You did the BEST thing you could have done in that situation. I did NOT do the best thing I could of done. Definitely not.
Last paragraph I disagree with. That's your opinion, and it's the most popular opinion. But there isn't only one right answer. I'd rather have sex with multiple women for variety than feel super connect to one person. Obviously being connected and knowing eachothers bodies is great, don't get me wrong, it's just not the only criteria.
Even though I have never had a legit committed relationship, I have had sex with the same person a lot, and it does take dozens of times to get a really good grasp of the flow and the timing, what she likes for foreplay ect.
So I understand and agree that there is a learning curve where the sex gets better the more you have with her cause you know eachothers bodies better. But the sex also gets worse or at least less exciting because it's the same body everytime. So getting to know her well in bed makes the sex better but the same body everytime gets a little bland which overtime makes the sex worse, to me PERSONALLY.
So the best balance of both for me has been having friends with benefits or uncommitted partners. So I can have some sex with people who's bodies and style I know well while also getting novel sex and still trying to get new women in bed. The downside is emotional connection and support is less, which does suck.
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KholatKhult
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Not just serious as in a relationship, even just a fwb thing. If you were to find a girl, or even a few girls, who you could build a confident connection with so you’re both on the same page and you know each others thinking, I think that would be your best bet.
Honestly you and I are on very different wavelengths when it comes to sex lmao. The only time I ever think about sex is when I’m having it. Sex is definitely one of the least important things in my life, and the idea of wanting quantity over quality just doesn’t register to me. So I feel like I’m throwing empty opinions into the wrong pond here lmao.
My bottom line is I want you to not harm anyone, or even unintentionally harm anyone. I’ve sort of picked up that you don’t seem to care about how other people feel haha, but you’re better about knowing what lines not to cross as compared to some other people.
Again I feel like I’m grasping at straws, I’m hardly qualified to give my two cents on anything you do regarding this topic. But with my limited knowledge being a complete bystander to the situation, I think it could’ve been handled better. Not much you can do about it now.
Just trying to be helpful.
Even if you called me dumb :P
I didn’t sentence you to death though, see? I’m more open minded these days ;)
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d0esnormalmatter
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Never called you dumb. Zeeeero times.
I'm not saying I'm right and your wrong, I'm saying what's right for me isn't right for you and vice versa.
Also, please understand that I like people explaining why they don't like promiscuity because I have always wondered why. Just because I don't wanna change yet doesn't mean I don't care about why you have the sex life you do. If I can gain insight about a perspective I don't have, that's a win.
And like I have said, at nauseum, I know I could have done it better. This was almost 6 months ago and I was even more desperate then than I am now.