You’re right that what is going on is involved with shame, emotional immaturity, insecurity, even weakness if you want to say that. In that sense, whatever happens is their fault. That doesn’t mean you should let them take the hit though.
But those are the reasons why OP here could have taken on the role of being the stable one. Instead he profited off of another persons troubling experience. That’s where the issue lies.
To bash her for her inability is completely normal and sane, but if we want to approach this with kindness and sympathy he should’ve known better to accommodate for her weakness.
Some people need “special conditions” when interacting with them, and while it’s your right to say fuck that and leave them alone, I don’t think it’s fair to take advantage of it.
It would’ve been the kind thing to do to follow out her “special condition” request, and I don’t think kindness is too much to ask for.
I mean props to you, for at least being intellectually consistent. If It happened again I would definitely consider it more but I feel like in the heat of the moment I'd probably do the same thing again. It is controversial and I 100% understand why someone would disagree so it's not like I think your a complete moron for disagreeing with me on this. It's a quite gray area.
I'm not what anyone needs in a man. That's how casual sex works chief. And also that's why I'm single at the moment lol.
Did you just try to insult my Brain™ and then follow it up by saying you don’t know how to use your head in emotional situations
Bro I dunno what to tell you then, I’ve never had a girl ghost me or not want to bang me again. I’m trying to put myself in your shoes but I don’t know how to feel unwanted 🥴
Well most of the girls I have sex with, have sex with lots of people. People who have lots of sex with multiple partners have less affect for each individual partner. If I'm one of 4 different guys she sees for sex then yeah I won't feel super "wanted" in an emotional way.
I just wish you wouldn't act like it's so black and white. It's a false dichotomy to say you either found the love of your life and your all set or your a promiscuous whore who has lots of partners but a bad sex life. Its possible to be "wanted" but still unhappy about your sex life and it's possible to not be "wanted" by anybody and still have a great sex life. The latter of those describes me the last 3 years.
I think my first comment to Boojum is the best way I could word how I feel about the situation.
And that may be the case that she slept around but she might be trying to cut this part of her life, what if you were the guy she decided to try to find some peace with?
I actually have a pretty close scenario happen to me, but alcohol was included so that changes it. But I had a girlfriend who took her modesty with a lot of pride, she was proud of her “cleanness” and that she could hold her composure high in a lot of situations.
Poor girl could NOT hold her liquor though.
She told me that if she ever comes on to me when she’s drunk, she wants me to tell her no, because she wanted to have a clear and coherent conscious during any sexual situations.
I suspect she had some bad sexual encounters before and this was her way to wanting to protect herself.
I listened. Goddamn was it hard, because she was a bombshell, but I listened. She was very very grateful for this and we got to introduce new stuff at her pace. It took a little while but she was really fun in bed, and she felt confident throughout it. We’re still very close friends today.
Sex is fifty times better when both people are excited to go into it, enjoy it during, and come out of it satisfied and confident. And to get that you need communication and respected boundaries
Reverse consent iin? Did I do wrong to fuck her?
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No you’re right in what you’re saying.
You’re right that what is going on is involved with shame, emotional immaturity, insecurity, even weakness if you want to say that. In that sense, whatever happens is their fault. That doesn’t mean you should let them take the hit though.
But those are the reasons why OP here could have taken on the role of being the stable one. Instead he profited off of another persons troubling experience. That’s where the issue lies.
To bash her for her inability is completely normal and sane, but if we want to approach this with kindness and sympathy he should’ve known better to accommodate for her weakness.
Some people need “special conditions” when interacting with them, and while it’s your right to say fuck that and leave them alone, I don’t think it’s fair to take advantage of it.
It would’ve been the kind thing to do to follow out her “special condition” request, and I don’t think kindness is too much to ask for.
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d0esnormalmatter
3 years ago
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Am I wrong for saying no when the cashier asks if I want to round up the tab and donate to XYZ charity?
Not being nice when you could have been, is a lot different than doing something wrong. I agree I would have been more nice if I honered her request.
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KholatKhult
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Well I mean I’d consider knowingly choosing /not to be kind/ to be the wrong choice lol it depends how much stock you put into manners and morals.
Like how you don’t drink around friends who are getting over their alcoholism.
It’s courtesy.
Sure you won’t go to jail, but it says something about your character. You definitely are not what she needs in a man.
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d0esnormalmatter
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I mean props to you, for at least being intellectually consistent. If It happened again I would definitely consider it more but I feel like in the heat of the moment I'd probably do the same thing again. It is controversial and I 100% understand why someone would disagree so it's not like I think your a complete moron for disagreeing with me on this. It's a quite gray area.
I'm not what anyone needs in a man. That's how casual sex works chief. And also that's why I'm single at the moment lol.
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KholatKhult
3 years ago
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Did you just try to insult my Brain™ and then follow it up by saying you don’t know how to use your head in emotional situations
Bro I dunno what to tell you then, I’ve never had a girl ghost me or not want to bang me again. I’m trying to put myself in your shoes but I don’t know how to feel unwanted 🥴
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d0esnormalmatter
3 years ago
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Well most of the girls I have sex with, have sex with lots of people. People who have lots of sex with multiple partners have less affect for each individual partner. If I'm one of 4 different guys she sees for sex then yeah I won't feel super "wanted" in an emotional way.
I just wish you wouldn't act like it's so black and white. It's a false dichotomy to say you either found the love of your life and your all set or your a promiscuous whore who has lots of partners but a bad sex life. Its possible to be "wanted" but still unhappy about your sex life and it's possible to not be "wanted" by anybody and still have a great sex life. The latter of those describes me the last 3 years.
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KholatKhult
3 years ago
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KholatKhult
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Sorry if I’m ranting lmao. I just really care about protecting people’s emotions.
I think my first comment to Boojum is the best way I could word how I feel about the situation.
And that may be the case that she slept around but she might be trying to cut this part of her life, what if you were the guy she decided to try to find some peace with?
I actually have a pretty close scenario happen to me, but alcohol was included so that changes it. But I had a girlfriend who took her modesty with a lot of pride, she was proud of her “cleanness” and that she could hold her composure high in a lot of situations.
Poor girl could NOT hold her liquor though.
She told me that if she ever comes on to me when she’s drunk, she wants me to tell her no, because she wanted to have a clear and coherent conscious during any sexual situations.
I suspect she had some bad sexual encounters before and this was her way to wanting to protect herself.
I listened. Goddamn was it hard, because she was a bombshell, but I listened. She was very very grateful for this and we got to introduce new stuff at her pace. It took a little while but she was really fun in bed, and she felt confident throughout it. We’re still very close friends today.
Sex is fifty times better when both people are excited to go into it, enjoy it during, and come out of it satisfied and confident. And to get that you need communication and respected boundaries