I think you and the father need to have a long, heart to heart discussion about these observations and that HE needs to take an active role in repairing or building the relationship. This is clearly a two-way street but you are the adult and need to approach the issue in a logical and serious way IF you want the relationship with her father to last. It should be clear to all parties that your role is not to replace her mother, but to support her father and compliment the family unit. If these things are not happening then you and her dad need to seek counseling separately first and then (possibly) together with the child later. The child should not be "forced" into counseling at an early stage as this may become an issue between the separating parents; and the step-daughter may exploit it to her advantage.
Relationship with step-daughter.
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I think you and the father need to have a long, heart to heart discussion about these observations and that HE needs to take an active role in repairing or building the relationship. This is clearly a two-way street but you are the adult and need to approach the issue in a logical and serious way IF you want the relationship with her father to last. It should be clear to all parties that your role is not to replace her mother, but to support her father and compliment the family unit. If these things are not happening then you and her dad need to seek counseling separately first and then (possibly) together with the child later. The child should not be "forced" into counseling at an early stage as this may become an issue between the separating parents; and the step-daughter may exploit it to her advantage.