Questioning

I don't know my identity I guess I could say. I am a female, and while i'm glad i'm a female, sometimes I wish I was a boy. One minute I want to be a girl, the next minute I want to be the opposite gender. Like, I want to be both a man and a woman? i'm not sure. it's sort of complicated to explain. Any advice would be appreciated.

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Comments ( 53 )
  • hauntedbysandwiches

    You're whatever you were born as and if you feel you don't fit the stereotype of female, that's cool most of us don't. Also just to put it out there but there's no such thing as boy things and girl things so if you like the color blue, like to wear baggy tshirts and work on cars that still wouldn't make you a boy. It would make you female who likes those things. Even if you feel like you'd want to be a boy sometimes that's normal too.

    Your gender will always be female though, you can't change your DNA.

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    • No, not really if I were to transition, which I don't because I still want to be a girl, while wanting to be male. And it's not that I feel like I don't "fit the stereotype of female" I just want to be a boy. I sometimes want to be a girl, other times i'm uncomfortable with it and would rather be a boy, which I feel this way frequently. Maybe it's just a phase, but who knows lol.

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  • OSCARUK

    Why do you feel the need to have a label, live your life, be a good person and be close to and care for those you love.

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    • I never said I needed a label, i'm just trying to figure out my gender identity. This advice is useless. Thanks anyways.

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      • Lusty-Argonian

        The advice is useless because your question is dumb. Ie just do whatever the fuck you like stop looking for labels.

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        • Wow, I see you got that stick shoved far up your ass. Once again, not really looking for a label. I am trying to figure out why I want to be a female, but then being a male sounds better. If my question is sooo "dumb" that it bothers you, you are welcome to ignore this. And let's say I were to be looking for a label, it's a bit weird that it offends and pisses you off this much, sort of funny, but weird lmao.

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          • Lusty-Argonian

            Pisses me off? No just redundant like you abd everyone else thinking this shit. Just do what makes you happy. It's not a complicated process

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            • Sure you're not. I have a suggestion for you Lusty-Argonian.

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    • litelander8

      I agree with you.

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  • jethro

    What makes you want to be a man at times and what makes you want to be a woman at others. I sometimes have "wondered", at times, what it would be like to be the other gender, but I never actually wanted to switch.

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  • kikilizzo

    It's called being a normal person.
    How does one even "feel" like a gender?
    You're trying to feel too much. Like those hypochondriacs always paying attention to every sensation in their body so they believe any difference means they're sick.
    No woman feels "feminine" all day everyday. Spend less time on tumblr and you'll learn that.
    You don't have to be a man to do certain things or dress certain ways. That's closed minded, outdated thinking.

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    • You're a bit of a dumbass. I don't want to be a boy because I don't feel "feminine" or because I feel like I need to be a man to act a certain a way, do certain things, or dress a certain way. I already know you can do anything, regardless if you're a man or a woman, you moron. For whatever reason, you just assumed I want to be a boy because I don't feel like i'm enough of a woman, which is far from the truth. I don't know why you assholes run your mouth, yet all you are saying is mere assumptions. And i've already explained that being my assigned birth sometimes feels right, while other times I would rather be the opposite gender, but nooo, you just cannot get that through your goddamn head, which is why i'll probably gonna have to keep explaining 100,000 times before you are able to get it, if you even get it at all. And nope, I don't use tumblr.

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  • 1WeirdGuy

    If you cant figure out which gender you want you might as well stay female because if you try to be a dude atleast half the people you come in contact with will want to avoid you.

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    • unrecognizable_rat

      but if they turn out to be a dude, and their friends dont accept them, then maybe theyll know whos an actual friend that would support them no matter what, and whos not an actual friend who doesnt support who they are

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      • Haha, I don't have a lot of people I keep in contact with anyways. I only have a select few of people I keep in contact with and they support if I want to have a gender change. But yes, if I were to have friends it actually would help me out.

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      • 1WeirdGuy

        Just because you're someones friend doesnt mean you should lie to them and tell them its normal to try to be a gender fluid weirdo. Its like if your friend started talking about flat earth all the time when youre around him. Eventually you dont wanna be seen around him because hes embarrassing always talking about weird shit to everyone.

        If someone corrects you and says "im not a he I'm an it. Call me they" 95% of people immediately catagorize this person as a retard in their mind. Why would you wanna br seen with someone like this?

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        • unrecognizable_rat

          "why would u wanna be seen with someone like this?" because theres nothing wrong with it???

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          • 1WeirdGuy

            Most of the usa disagrees with that

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            • unrecognizable_rat

              usa isnt the only country in the world yknow

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        • I wouldn't tell someone to call me this and that. If I were to transition into a boy, I would prefer to be called a he, but wouldn't correct them. P.s. The people around me would call me a he anyways, so there wouldn't be any problem either way.

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    • I guess. I'll figure it out.

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  • kelili

    I have often thought that I wanted to be a boy when in fact what I wanted was to be treated like a boy: doing things I like and making mistakes without being labelled or judged too harshly.
    Don't jump to conclusion too soon. It's normal to want to be something or someone else.
    You're normal.

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    • It has nothing to do with treatment either. It is not that i've been judged for something i've done that makes me wanna be a boy. But thanks for your input.

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  • Yaidin

    You really couldn't find a website better than IIN? What are you eben looking for here

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    • Lusty-Argonian

      Labels. They are looking for labels and attention most likley

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      • You're just making assumptions at this point.

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        • Lusty-Argonian

          Educated hypothesis actually

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          • If you wanna keep on insisting that is the case, that is fine.

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    • I've already answered your question.

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  • Clunk42

    You are what your genitals show you to be, and that cannot be changed.

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    • unrecognizable_rat

      no, not everyone is what their genitals show them to be. and also, yes, that can be changed.

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      • Clunk42

        Yes they are, for their genitals are proof of it. The "change" you speak of is merely surface-level.

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        • unrecognizable_rat

          No, they are not. studies have shown that even if someone is born with a certain genital, and assigned with a certain gender at birth, their chromosomes might not be the same of a girl or of a boy. outside, they might have a pp (for example) but inside, they have girl dna, which is what cause gender dysphoria

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    • BLAh81

      You don't seem to understand the difference between sex and gender, you simplistic Catholic freak.

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    • Sure it can. If you get surgery that transitions you (not really sure if I want to transition though), it can.

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  • Da_cheese

    I’m a girl, but I just act like a boy. I have friends from both genders. So just be yourself, and act like yourself, then it’s not needed to change genders or something.

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  • edgyqueerveganvampire

    maybe you're genderfluid. i'm non binary, maybe genderfluid but i don't like labeling myself too specifically. i keep my hair long, no facial hair, sometimes dress more "masculine" and sometimes more "feminine". no hrt cause i can't afford it but i'm not sure i'd do it anyway. i'm kinda over gender as a whole now that i'm confident in my identity, but as a teen, before being exposed to these themes i was so confused and depressed. i often felt like a girl, whatever that means, and would have liked to be treated as one, but not always or not "fully". now i just kinda do what i want and treat everyone the same regardless of gender.
    my advice would be be mindful of your feelings, don't jump to conclusions but don't ignore them either. and do what makes you happy without feeling trapped in meaningless boxes like "man" or "woman"

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    • I think your advice was probably the best one given here. Thank you for your input.

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  • jodi1955

    Be who you want to be. I always wonder what it would be like to be the opposite sex that is normal. Before you decide to change your life be sure you that. After years of wondering I finally realized I do not to be female but do what breast. So that is the road I told. Years later I am very happy with my decision, so be sure and whatever you decide will be correct for you. And no matter your decision is someone will not like it. Be yourself an be happy

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  • That is why i'm waiting a while.

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  • BleedingPain

    Is there any reason why you cant be both? You do you. If whatever you do gains the reaction of being called a man or woman, so be it. You dont have to define yourself to what others will perceive you as

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    • Alright, that makes sense. I guess I was trying to figure out why I want to be a boy, yet I want to stay a girl. It's a bit confusing.

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      • BleedingPain

        Probably because society has constructed a set of principles that define what a man and woman is, and when an individual dabbles outside of the set principles they start to question themselves.

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        • It has nothing to do with that. I've never really paid attention to what society says. So it's not that I don't feel woman enough, I just kind of feel the way I do for no reason. Oh well, I guess it shouldn't really matter. This post was a bit pointless.

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          • BleedingPain

            Thats the spirit

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  • bbrown95

    What makes you want to be a man and/or a woman? As in, what qualities do you have/want make you feel like you lean more towards feeling male? Is it stuff like the things men tend to traditionally take part in and enjoy, or more physical things like the lack of periods, the fact that they aren't the ones that have to carry and push out a baby, etc.? Or is there something deeper?

    I do agree with the others that say to just be yourself and do what makes you happy, and to not worry too much about what to call yourself. Like a lot of people have said, you don't have to be a boy to do "boy things" or a girl to do "girl things".

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    • No, it isn't about any qualifications that males have that I want, I kind of just want to be male. No particular reason. But yeah, i'll just focus on whatever makes me "happy".

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  • OSCARUK

    Look at it from another angle...

    Say for instance, i am struggling with my moral identity. Sometimes i want to be nice and other days i want to be horrible, when im nice i wonder what it would be like to be horrible and vice versa.

    Yesterday I was an absolute cunt to everyone i saw, they said hello and I said fk off, i went to the store, stole some beer and whisky, on the way home to watch kinky porn, i stopped to pee in the church doorway.

    Today im going to church and passing food to homeless people while running errands for elderly neighbours before settling on the sofa to watch the Christian tv channels and donate my cash to the lords mission.

    Next day i felt like being a good person again but felt on edge because I knew deep down that i also wanted to be bad, i went to the store for coffee and the guy tried to push me out of the door, hey you stole my beers and whisky, I'm calling the cops...

    Can you imagine how upset i was to be judged on a day that my moral identity was erring on the bad side.. " oh hey no, that wasn't today me, that was yesterday me, we are 2 different people, I'm not stealing anything today"

    Of course this is all imaginary and i would never steal, watch the tv Christian channel or go anywhere near a church, but it all sounds ridiculous doesn't it

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    • I guess.

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  • Curiouskitten444

    You could be two spirited like me. And because of that I choose not to get gender reassignment because some days I'm happy to be a female.

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    • Could be.

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  • raisinbran

    Gender reassignment, immediately. Don't even think about it just do it.

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    • Well I got to think about it. That would be very stupid to do something drastic as that without thinking first. I think i'll just wait.

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