Plz help me i want to f*ckin die

24% Normal

im so depress. My bf pisses me off so much, i cry everyday n night and i just want to die all the time its all i think about. He hurts me so much and he doesnt know how much pain he causes me. But i cant break up with hin because im so madly in love with him and im completely insanely obssessed with him. I dont have a job anymore, i had to quit cuz of him and i got refused from college. I stopped talking to all my friends cuz of him and i have nothing else to do with my life. I hate this so much and i just want to die hoping that atleast then he would see how much pain he caused me. Emotionally and physically abused i am with him. Please help me!!!

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24% Normal

Based on 105 votes (25 yes)

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Comments ( 61 )

[Old Memory]

14 years ago | pl

Call a distress centre. You are in distress.

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aero_56

14 years ago

In context to your situation, I would say that your depression is normal. In the end it really comes down to what is best for YOU. I don't know what steps you have taken to improve the relationship, but I would recommend telling him that he hurts you, maybe try counseling if he'll agree to it. If not you need to work on weening yourself off of him. I understand you love him but if he doesn't return the emotion then it's time to get out, especially if he makes you want to kill yourself. Don't let yourself be the person who died of a bad relationship! Good luck.

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- serafina
  
  14 years ago
  
  thank you :)
  
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williams

14 years ago

You have a lot to live for. YOURSELF! I think you have a lot of issues within yourself now that im taking time to read what your saying to others. You need to work on yourself! Ya in life you fall n and out of love! its apart of life what are you gonna do? LIVE YOUR LIFE and stop allowing ppl in your life that are making you feel this way. mistakes happen girl...It's kind of your fault ya know for letting this get to you sooo bad. do you really think out of 6 billion ppl on this earth that he was the one and only one fooorever and ever? sorry but theres more to look forward to sweetie. trust me. shit happens! you live and you learn ya know...get your self together...not everything in life is handed to you sometimes you gotta work to get it...but first you gotta make sure YOU are straight with yourself and know who you are and what your capable of! follow your dreams and make sure no motherfucker takes them away from you because thats your DAMN dream and you get it...you seem like your a lost. theres a lot of females out there that are lil puppies to their men and thats how you end of getting real hurt...you need to really look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself your the fuckin best and nobody is gonna run my life. I look at life this way...we are like basically the only life in the universe as we know i mean and we only live once? shiiit thats enough for me to live life smart and good and try not to take life and little shit for granted ya know...i just want you to understand that stressing over shit that happens in life is not gonna to get you nowhere...you gotta overcome obstacles to LIVE life. You have to! just live your life just to make it simple. becuz nobody else is gonna live it for you...only you. live smart and look on the bright side more often.

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- serafina
  
  14 years ago
  
  thank you so much. Im trying so hard to do as your saying. Its really hard to just be happy. But im trying and i cant stop thinking of him. Thank you for your time! Im scared that if i just be happy and not stress im scared that something bad will happen. Im scared to just live without worrying.
  
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annada

14 years ago

Stop ruining your life over a man mama, at the end of the day you only have one life to live do you want to be 90 and look back on a life filled with heartache and regret.You are very distraught, maybe you can talk to someone in your community who is trustworthy, a family maember or even your place of worship. Please talk to someone, i really want you to feel better.

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- serafina
  
  14 years ago
  
  thank you :). i cant leave him man, i tried... but i cant bring up those words, "break up" with him... i told him that maybe we should just break up because, he honestly treats me like shit. and he said to do whatever i want, he wont stop me. and stuff like that. and i dont know, this week he went to toronto (we live in montreal) and he never calls me or texts me and i dont know im so sad like already i regret meeting him, the biggest mistake was falling in love with him, and now its too late, and i really have nothing to live for anymore.
  
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williams

14 years ago

why be with someone who runs your life and your emotions? Aren't you a strong independent woman? No true lover would do that to the other im sorry but im just being real. I think you should move on i mean damn theres so many juicy, smart, trustworthy, sexy, respectful men out there its not even funny! why waste your time on someone who makes you feel that you need to kill yourself to show that you care or love them? what kinda crap is that? that aint love hunny. sorry. hope you take a lil of my advice. and you say you have nothing well heres some more advice move on dump the boy get a job, hustle, get back into school, do ya thing then when your ready meet or date around to find mista right who will do you right and love you like theres no tomorrow. <3 :P

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- FeilliChan
  
  14 years ago
  
  I agree. As i said to my best friend that was in the same situation like this, "Hes not worth your time if he keeps ruining you like this, I know you can do so much better.." and her reply was, "But i love him!" and i said "Has he even loved you back?" and that was the end (she's happy with someone else now ^_^ and has a new life) If you love him that much, then are you prepared to give up everything? For someone that keeps hurting you and ruining your life? Is he really that worth it? If you die there are others out there that will actually care! Think hard, Okies? I'm cheering for you.
  
  ~Feilli
  
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  - serafina
    
    14 years ago
    
    and i find that he's 2-faced. like sometimes, im just so happy im with him, and i tell myself that i couldnt have found a better boyfriend. but then theres other times, that im just so angry and i cry and cry and cry because im so hurt.so im just really confused. nevertheless, whether im mad at him or not, i care about him more than anything else in my life.
    
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  - serafina
    
    14 years ago
    
    i know, maybe there is someone else out there, but when i think of being with someone else, i know that i wont ever be able to stop thinking about my bf. i cant let go of him, no matter what he does, or how much he makes me sad, mad, i just cant. i think he knows that, and uses it to his advantage. i should have never went out with him. but i wasnt thinking when we started dating. i didnt even like him that much. and now it's gotten to the point that im over-obsessed with him. i hate his personnality, he's everything that i hate in a guy. i would have never thought i'd go out with a guy like that. but yet, im sooo attached, and so in love, and so crazy for him, i dont even know why, i just cant break up... i dont know how youre suppose to forget about someone youre so close to, is there even a way?
    
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    - 1hotmomma
      
      12 years ago
      
      I was only reading sum things an only signed up so I can say this...I met a guy when I was 16 he was 26. I didn't really like him but there was sumthing that attracted me to him. We were friends along time then we hooked up an I got pregnant. I felt that I should have left but never did. 8 yrs later I had 2 kids I was broke almost getting fired had no friends I drank a lot an I had a fractured face an soft spots on my head cuz he didn't want to leave bruises. He hit me yelled at my kids scared everyone in the house. I even tried to kill him once. Because he kept me from the world I thought he was my only friend. But that's what they want u to think. When I finally opened my eyes an saw the damage it was causing by hoping he would change. I knew I had to leave. Its been 2 1/2 yrs now. I'm re-married to a wonderful man. I'm a step mother to 3 kids. My ex loves in another state. I still talk to him everyday cuz he is sick an he is my friend. But I refuse to ever let him hurt me or my kids again. He's mental, maybe ur bf is too. They need help but u can't do it for them. Its hard to walk away from someone u love but when that person has no regard for u, u have to stand up an walk away. There r many shelters for abused women find one an get help for urself. Please.
      
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      - queenvagina
        
        12 years ago
        
        Omg that must have been so hard to get out of and there must have been so many hard times to get to where you are now. Well done. That sounds weird but i think you deserve a wel done. :)
        
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- serafina
  
  14 years ago
  
  thanks alot! i understand what you mean...its just so hard. when we see eachother, hes really nice to me, and good to me, but other than that, its the complete opposite. i dont know if im just being controlling or not but like, whenever we fight i always have to be the one to take the blame. and no matter how much i cry, or how much im stressing, he just doesnt care. but like i said, when we see eachother, i am happy... and thats whats so hard to let go of. but we see eachother only once a week. and really, all i want is for him to be happy i guess. he always goes out of town and see's friends, and concerts, and whatever, and the only thing i really dont want is for him to cheat on me. if that were to happen... i really wouldnt know how much more i could take.
  
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An+on

7 years ago

1) Get away from him. He doesn't love you, he has less than zero right to have your love. Run away if you must.
2) Get help from someplace.
3) Live life. You have one - use it well

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Bubbles-for-life

11 years ago

Firstttt of all......Calm your tits

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mrobbin

11 years ago

Dont be silly.
Aaj kal koi kisi ki chinta nahi karta.
Tu khudko sambhal, Pyar karte samay hi vichar karna tha
samnewala insan galat hai ya sahi.

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SEWnanist23

12 years ago

Time is slow and boring if you want to die but if you don't want to die even if you're not having fun you'll be seeing your 60th birthday basically tomorrow with a deadly heart attack just waitin' 'round the corner at your nearest greasy spoon.

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Yandaman

12 years ago

go call him now as you read this... and then tell him to read this....

Hey Mr prick, you have what we like to call 'SMALL COCK SYNDROME'. in other words you are very unhappy at the size of what is supposed to be your manhood and therefore take it out on a woman who obviously worships you to make yourself feel more of a MAN!!!

Come on dude.. wake the fuck up and look at your woman and what she has given up for you. How she worships you and how unhappy you make her!

Why not go and get a Penis Extension if that will help.. but dont be a prick just because you are one!!

I have no patience for Pricks! never liked them! always dealt with them swiftly.!!!

Good luck lady! a good kick in the prick always does the job.. if he carries on!!

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inuteronevermind

12 years ago

I feel your pain. I have been in your situation. There was this guy, and he ignored me, and hit me all the time. But you can't settle for second best. Do you know that you will like everyone you spend time with? It is so true. Think of your worst enemy. If you spend nine days in a room alone with them, you would end up loving them. Hugging them at the end. Saying THANK YOU. There are about 1,000,000,000 people per person. Go out into the world, and you can surprise yourself<33

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shade_ilmaendu

12 years ago

Sweetie, take it from someone who was in your same situation, you've got to get away from this guy. It doesn't matter how much you love him, that will go away eventually, even if it takes a long time of no contact to him.

I was exactly where you were a few years ago. I was dating a u who seemed to be sweet and kind.... But he was a sociopath. Eventually the abuse got to be too much to take, and it took a lot for me to get over him once I got away, but I realized that he was ruining me for my future. I'm still getting over some of what he did, but I know I'm the stronger for having claimed my own life and walking away. I think with some support you can have that same strength.. :)

Let me know if you'd ever want to talk more, we could exchange IM or email or something if you need anything.

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naider

13 years ago

Dude, you need help. Go see a doctor or just kill yourself already. Stop bitching on the net and make a choice

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TEST925

13 years ago

If someone is fucking with your life get that person out of it, Simple fact! You'll get over it, You only live once

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[Old Memory]

13 years ago

u might think ur difrent from all these people that have moved on from the same situation but ur not ur the same they all supposible loved there bf or gf but then get over it

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[Old Memory]

13 years ago

ok im basicly gonna say it as it is
stop wining ur about 15-18 i can tell u left all your mates and got fired for what a lil teen love and believe me thats all it is sounds like he didnt ggiv a shit about u givin up ur friends or ur job im guessing hes one of the cool dudes? well im sorry but iv seen this thing happen ALLL the time and i cba why the hell did u say it on here? u basicly give up ur friends the one ur suppose to talk to instead of making somne random page on IIN i meann ffs get a grip i hate people that separate from their friends because of there "loved one" yeah im saying that very sarcasticly its pathetic u think u have it bad jus imagine how ur mates feel that u abandoned them for ur lil boyfriend cus at the end of the day uv lost everything because u want a kwl boyfriend dont post things on pages that no1 can help u with u basicly flung everything away what are the people here gnna do? make it all better for U sorry but anyone who dus is as pathetic as u see i would be reli nice to u like i am with all the other people who are in these situations but no im not anymore u know why? because THEY ALL GET OVER IT AT SUM POINT u might think u luv this guy to pieces but one day ur not going to luv him as much and i so hope u remember this commentwhen it happens believe me everythin iv said will happen and is all truth get over yourself

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- queenvagina
  
  12 years ago
  
  She has obviously turned to this because she doesnt think its normal and she obvs feels lik shit. Who are you to make her feel worse? Yes she probably will get over it and yes it happens all the time. But to her at the moment it doesnt feel like that n she doesnt need some twat tellin her a load of crap. Why not save your energy and just not post. Why do you have to post a comment thats obviously gunna hurt someone. Thats what i hate. And thats whats pathetic.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    12 years ago
    
    She has all the power in her hands, she is causing more pain to people that they can't stop so that she can sustain this unhealthy relationsip. What about her friends? How do you think they will feel about this girl leaving them to stay with her abusive partner?
    This is an attention seeking story, it's obvious that it is. Why should anyone care about this situation when all she needs to do is leave the person causing the trouble? "But she loves him" how is that anyone's but her own fault? Should she get pity for staying with someone when she doesn't need to?
    
    I don't give sympathy to most people, I definetly don't think someone who is willingly putting herself inthis situation deserves it either.
    
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clarysage12

13 years ago

you need to talk to a trusted source, whether a family member or friend, someone you can tell everything to, all your insecurities and doubts. You will have someone on your side then.
I know its very hard to let that person go, but you literally have nothing else in your life.
What kind of hobbies did you have beofre you started seeing him? Paint? draw? write music? hike? take photo's?
find something that is enjoyable to you and distract yourself, absorb yourself in an activity and don't make yourself available to him. This will be hard because once he realizes what is happening, he will start calling you, because he's not in control of you. He is manipulating and controlling and because of that you feel like you are worthless and you have completely lost sight of the amazing person you once were. Dig deep, find her and little by little break out of your shell.

hope this helps

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clarysage12

13 years ago

I've been here before.
You are like a drug addict, but instead of being addicted to a substance you are addicted to him, there is such a thing. Both are utterly unheathy.

It sounds like he's going to do whatever he wants, when he wants and he won't chase you, yet you chase him.
Instead of talking to him and threathening the idea of breaking up with him, I would distance yourself, stop calling or making yourself available (easier said than done).

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Aberzombie

13 years ago

LISTEN WOMAN.

SOME FREE ADVICE HERE FOR ALL OF YOU--

1. Leave the asshole.
2. Go back to school.

I assure you, you will fix your life,
it's never too late. And don't you ever
ever resort to suicide.

The doors of heaven will refuse you surely.

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[Old Memory]

14 years ago

He is fucking abusive! Call domestic abuse center.. Seiously? He can go to jail for physically hurtig you. It's not ok. And go to therapy now. Talking helps so mich

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[Old Memory]

14 years ago

Talk to God.

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[Old Memory]

14 years ago

i hate when people do this u say u cant do anythin or dump him because u love him so much but ask us wat u should do when u already know what u have to do then you say u want to die if you really felt that way u would have done it long ago otherwise ur just feeling sorry for yourself dump him thats all u can do if he made you go through this then dump him ye aint worth all of that but if ur not gonna do that then y the hell are you askin for our help
im sorry but that just anoys me when people know wat they got to do butdo this for attention and tbh thats what it really is

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- RaNdOmPoPcOrN
  
  11 years ago
  
  Your grammar :o
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    11 years ago
    
    Welldone. You now made me want to kill myself. Thank you for bringing up this drivel of mine!
    
    Lol. But seriously, I have come a long way since then. I was a moron back then.
    
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    - RaNdOmPoPcOrN
      
      11 years ago
      
      Haha, trust me, when I fist signed up, i typd liek dis but idk y. Lol.
      
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      - [Old Memory]
        
        11 years ago
        
        Well that makes me happy that I wasn't the only one. Going to be honest, if it wasn't or this site I probably would still have grammar like that.
        
        One thing that I will always be greatful for in this site.
        
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        RaNdOmPoPcOrN
        
        11 years ago
        
        Exactly haha, my one of my first comment is this "god go die in a hole u stuiped ho god all u do is complain about shit"
        
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Proudfear

14 years ago

forget what u feel ,dump him and get your life back

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Phoenix

14 years ago

He abuses you, and you are obsessed with him, too normal situation sadly, you simply have to do something, nothing is worse than doing nothing. Ask yourself do I love him, or am I just obsessed? There is a big diff there.

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- serafina
  
  14 years ago
  
  i am obsessed. But i care for him alot. I do love him. I know i do. But there is no doubt about how much i am attached to him. What shoul i do?
  
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  - Jen118584
    
    14 years ago
    
    This thread is old, but oh well.
    
    Why do you care so much about someone that doesn't care about you? It's pretty pathetic, honestly. And don't get me wrong, I've been pathetic before too! But these people are all right. You have to find some worth in yourself. You're a cute, passionate girl. What makes you think no one else will want you?
    
    The absolute best thing that you can do for yourself is to reconnect with your friends and family. Your friends should always be there for you and after a couple weeks you will realize what you gave up for this douchebag.
    
    Pleaseeeee stop wasting your time loving this guy that doesn't give two shits about you. I know you love him and are attached to him but you need to sit down and think about why you feel this way. He does not deserve your devotion at all.
    
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[Old Memory]

14 years ago

This is what I would call an unhealthy relationship! It doesn't matter how much you love this guy. From the sounds of things you need to move on for your own good.He doesn't sound like a man who loves or respects you but i'm only going by what you've said. If you are feeling so badly that you would rather die then he isn't worth it. It's the truth. He doesn't deserve your life. In one of the comments you left you said when you brought up maybe splitting up he pretty much didn't care. That tells you something right there. He's not good for you. If your going to solve things you need to realize that first. If your not willing to admit the relationship, if it can't be fixed, has to end...then your going to have to deal with it I guess. Hope things work out. Don't give up!

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williams

14 years ago

o. well good luck i dont have anything else to say. so good bye.

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serafina

14 years ago

hes not my ex. I think he cheated on me today. I found out he was at a motel today at 4pm. Why? No idea. I just wanna fucking die. Fuck life. I just want him to be good. But i dont think he ever will. Fuck everything else. Fucking hate this shit. I wanna die so badly. </3

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- annada
  
  14 years ago
  
  Look,i seriously think that you may love your boyfriend, but i think its more of an obsession with you.Maybe you think that you're not good enough, and that he is the only one who will put up with you. But you must really step outside of yourself and take an objective look at the situation, make a pro and con list. You will see that the cons by far outweigh the pros. Try and wean yourself off of him slowly, spend less time wit him and reconnect with yourself, family and friends.
  If you still can't get through this maybe you should seek the help of a counselor.
  I repeat girl, aint no man worth your life cuz when its gone, you can't get it back and i seriously see you being happy with some one else in the future thinking 'i can't believe i tripped over that fool'.
  I'm rooting for you girl. :)
  
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  - serafina
    
    14 years ago
    
    that is how i feel. I have really low self esteem. I know that. I think thats what causing all my problems. I think the more im with him, the lower it goes cuz he makes me feel like im worth nothing. And your right, when i think of breaking up, i always think that no one would accept me the way he did and that gets me sad and then i dont want to leave him. I just want him to love me and not cheat on me and be a good decent guy.
    
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    - annada
      
      14 years ago
      
      That's the answer then sweetie, if you don't learn to love yourself,then it would be hard for you to love someone else or have a normal relationship. Trust me when i say i know what i'm talking about, as a teenager i was had really low-self esteem, to the point where i hated myself so much i did not leave my house in a year after i did A-levels. I realised that if anything had to change, i had to be the one to change it, i started slowly and took it in steps:
      
      1. I told my self everytime i passed a mirror that i'm worthy of being happy.
      
      2. i evaluated all the things in my life that made me unhappy and think of ways to change them, some were instant but most were long-term.
      3. i started treating my body right, i exercised for 30mins. everyday and watched what i ate (no diet)and without knowing it i had lost 25lbs to reach my goal weight
      
      4. i then took signed up for college and made knew friends, positive people who really cared about me.
      
      That was 3 1/2 years ago and now i'm about to graduate college with my degree in psych., i'm engaged to a wonderful man who understands me and loves me unconditionally and i'm staring grad school next year.
      
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      - annada
        
        14 years ago
        
        Also, you can't make someone love you, if he don't treat good now knowing it causes you pain, he never will. Do you want to live your life pining for a man who do not love you? He is not a decent guy, and the only reason he treats you like that is cuz he knows he can and get away way with it.He feeds off of your insecurities like a leech and if you stay with him you're only his enabler.
        Girl, please for your sake and mine, lol, leave that chump, get your life together, find a good guy and show that fool what he missed out on and can never have again.
        Still rooting for yougirl = )
        
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        serafina
        
        14 years ago
        
        thank you!!!!! Youre such a big help! Im going to do what you say and try and love myself more. Be in better shape, try and be not too shy anymore. As for my boyfriend i dont think ill break up but i do agree with what you said about him. Its just too hard. Ill see whats going to happen. Maybe he'll change. Im hoping. Thank you!
        
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williams

14 years ago

Do what makes you happy get back into doing things on your time, things you put away and most importantly new things to give yourself a little push into being complete and starting over to a healthier state of mind. Well i guess everybody goes through that faze of overly thinking of their ex's i mean when people fall in love theres always something that you find attractive or extremely addictive about that person that makes you fall for them. & that makes you really emotional when all doesn't work out in the end and thats what your going through right now, the whole addiction to what you found in that individual that you deeply loved. So now you have to work on getting over that. Ya its sucks but in your situation i mean its for the better look on the bright side its for the better! Nothing bad will happen just as long as you find ways, invest time into yourself to get stronger then you should be alright. Life is short shit happens learn from them and the best part of being strong is that you can move the fuck on. when you don't your always gonna struggle you don't like it right? so thats why you step up to your own faults and be the better smarter person for the happiness your deperately searching for...be willing to change your outlook on how you think, be willing to start new, be willing to believe in yourself. Whats so crazy cool about lifes lessons is that fact that you can always change and star over. You should start now today challege yourself. your biggest enemy is yourself not your ex. Its really down to yourself. Nobody lives without worrying i mean thats just like saying people live without fear. What you need to do is live with a healtheir state of mind. I live by 3 words...i took time to think of words that allow me to be strong and function well and to have a better outlook on my life and the things that may interfere with my mental...i have them tatted on my body. the 3 words are COURAGE, STRENGTH and PERSEVERANCE!

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Spunj

14 years ago

Tell him how you feel and say you would like to take a break. That you still love him, and would love to countinue the relationship, but right now he is not suited. This might change his personality quite a bit. Sometimes it's the only way to make them see. If he doesn't change after this, I would give up on him.

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- serafina
  
  14 years ago
  
  i asked him already if he wanted a break but he said no. As for telling him how i feel, i told him. But he tells me doesnt care. So now i just keep my mouth shut and keep everything inside, because i am scared that if i complain, he's going to break up.
  I feel as if he knows he can do whatever he wants, and get away with it, because he knows that ill always put up with him. Yet for me, i am absolutely scared of doing anything at all that might anger him, so i stay home all the time. I dont even have friends anymore. Im just scared to make him angry.
  Help?
  
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Doggone66

14 years ago

Plese see your Dr and tell him or her what you are feeling.
It sounds like depression to me and if so there are hundreds of different anti-Depression tablets.
Your Dr will start you on one, but don't worry as these drugs take a 2-3 weeks to work, but go anyway for a work up and take things slowly

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Are You Normal?

Plz help me i want to f*ckin die