I do agree with Fred that leaving without considering the needs of your other siblings would be unwise. On the other hand, allowing the mother, father, and sisters to force you into an enabling situation does no one any favors. It's holding you hostage and prevents them from experiencing any personal growth.
For the sake of your sanity and self-actualization, you cannot make yourself solely responsible for your entire family. Someone else must share the burden with you. If your father refuses to assist, perhaps he can be "encouraged" to do so legally. If your mother is able to work but does not do so now, perhaps this is the time to "suggest" that she consider doing so for the sake of her daughters and herself. You need not feel that all of the possible solutions must come from you just as you need not feel that you should be responsible for everyone's welfare if the adults in this family will not take responsibility for themselves. Once everyone starts seeing that you are are standing up for yourself and beginning to make the first steps towards the door, it's possible that you'll see some changes for the better just because they'll know they HAVE to change. It may not happen overnight, but given time and your firm resolve and a tough love approach, you may get some results.
Please help me
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thanks janiam. I hate feeling this lonely, its not nice to know that other people have come from similar situations, but its comforting. X
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JanIAm
15 years ago
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I do agree with Fred that leaving without considering the needs of your other siblings would be unwise. On the other hand, allowing the mother, father, and sisters to force you into an enabling situation does no one any favors. It's holding you hostage and prevents them from experiencing any personal growth.
For the sake of your sanity and self-actualization, you cannot make yourself solely responsible for your entire family. Someone else must share the burden with you. If your father refuses to assist, perhaps he can be "encouraged" to do so legally. If your mother is able to work but does not do so now, perhaps this is the time to "suggest" that she consider doing so for the sake of her daughters and herself. You need not feel that all of the possible solutions must come from you just as you need not feel that you should be responsible for everyone's welfare if the adults in this family will not take responsibility for themselves. Once everyone starts seeing that you are are standing up for yourself and beginning to make the first steps towards the door, it's possible that you'll see some changes for the better just because they'll know they HAVE to change. It may not happen overnight, but given time and your firm resolve and a tough love approach, you may get some results.