When I was 18, I had much the same feelings towards my dysfunctional family as you describe here. My reaction was to find a way to get out of the house as quickly as I could to distance myself from the situation. I would strongly suggest that you find a way to do the same thing.
I'm assuming that you are probably an LVN or an NA at your age, which probably means you don't have a lot of money. If you have a friend or family member who would consider rooming with you, please consider looking into some housing away from the stressful family situation that you describe. At age 19, it's really time for you to become your own person in any event. "Looking after everyone" should not have to be your sole responsibility, particularly if you want to be able to keep what you describe as a stressful job. Once you address your family issues, maybe the job will actually seem less stressful.
I do agree with Fred that leaving without considering the needs of your other siblings would be unwise. On the other hand, allowing the mother, father, and sisters to force you into an enabling situation does no one any favors. It's holding you hostage and prevents them from experiencing any personal growth.
For the sake of your sanity and self-actualization, you cannot make yourself solely responsible for your entire family. Someone else must share the burden with you. If your father refuses to assist, perhaps he can be "encouraged" to do so legally. If your mother is able to work but does not do so now, perhaps this is the time to "suggest" that she consider doing so for the sake of her daughters and herself. You need not feel that all of the possible solutions must come from you just as you need not feel that you should be responsible for everyone's welfare if the adults in this family will not take responsibility for themselves. Once everyone starts seeing that you are are standing up for yourself and beginning to make the first steps towards the door, it's possible that you'll see some changes for the better just because they'll know they HAVE to change. It may not happen overnight, but given time and your firm resolve and a tough love approach, you may get some results.
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When I was 18, I had much the same feelings towards my dysfunctional family as you describe here. My reaction was to find a way to get out of the house as quickly as I could to distance myself from the situation. I would strongly suggest that you find a way to do the same thing.
I'm assuming that you are probably an LVN or an NA at your age, which probably means you don't have a lot of money. If you have a friend or family member who would consider rooming with you, please consider looking into some housing away from the stressful family situation that you describe. At age 19, it's really time for you to become your own person in any event. "Looking after everyone" should not have to be your sole responsibility, particularly if you want to be able to keep what you describe as a stressful job. Once you address your family issues, maybe the job will actually seem less stressful.
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hippocrocapig
15 years ago
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thanks janiam. I hate feeling this lonely, its not nice to know that other people have come from similar situations, but its comforting. X
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JanIAm
15 years ago
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I do agree with Fred that leaving without considering the needs of your other siblings would be unwise. On the other hand, allowing the mother, father, and sisters to force you into an enabling situation does no one any favors. It's holding you hostage and prevents them from experiencing any personal growth.
For the sake of your sanity and self-actualization, you cannot make yourself solely responsible for your entire family. Someone else must share the burden with you. If your father refuses to assist, perhaps he can be "encouraged" to do so legally. If your mother is able to work but does not do so now, perhaps this is the time to "suggest" that she consider doing so for the sake of her daughters and herself. You need not feel that all of the possible solutions must come from you just as you need not feel that you should be responsible for everyone's welfare if the adults in this family will not take responsibility for themselves. Once everyone starts seeing that you are are standing up for yourself and beginning to make the first steps towards the door, it's possible that you'll see some changes for the better just because they'll know they HAVE to change. It may not happen overnight, but given time and your firm resolve and a tough love approach, you may get some results.