I know that this is an old post, and I haven't seen much of you around in awhile, but I hope you haven't left.
The difference is the fact that people who sit behind a keyboard, anonymously, often from thousands of miles away, are going to be emboldened and say things that they'd never say if they lived in the same neighborhood, let alone to someone's face.
I do believe that difference is relevant. If someone's slapping your books from your arms in the hallway at school, it's much more threatening than some faceless, type-written attack online.
I'm kind of left. I'm not in love with this place anymore.
When you're facing bullying, you don't tend to rationally weigh up the dangers of the situation and decide how sad you should feel. The effect of bullying is to intimidate and frighten someone, and an intimidated and frightened person isn't going to think in those logical terms. A bullied person has that part of their awareness hijacked by their abuser/s; losing the ability to think clearly about it is one of the things that made bullying so terrible for me. Only recently, years later, have I come to think that I can finally look back on it and see it for what it was.
In my experience of being bullied, the most defining feeling was having no self-esteem. Bullying is an all-out attack on a person's self-esteem. You can deliver that sort of emotional pain online just as easily as you can face to face. The digital world is a massive part of growing up now. There is no line between the online world and the world of face to face. Hostile interactions online have the ability to totally ruin a kid's self-esteem.
I understand why you feel about this how you do, and I totally agree that the specific experiences are likely to be different. I just think that the pain they can cause isn't connected to a rational weighing-up of the risks.
I'm sorry to hear that you're leaving, though I completely understand why Dom.
I'm a victim of bullying myself, so I really do understand where you're coming from.
With girls it's, in some ways, more vicious, in others not so much. With boys, physical size comes into play. That can go both ways. Girls, however, tend to attack on a social and psychological level. I'm not sure that I've really overcome that, but it's made me who I am, and I'm not sure that I could have faced the issues that confronted me in the "real world" if I hadn't lived through that torment.
I interact on message boards all over. I'm always amazed at the simplest comments, or opinions, that bring out the worst in people. I read responses that I recoil at, and think, "there's no fucking way you'd look someone in the eye and say that." No human could read body language from another and beat them down like that, even without a threat of backlash. It's sickening.
Anyway Dom, trust me, you're smart enough, and able enough to fight through whatever life throws at you. You have a promising life ahead of you. Make the most of it, no matter what monsters you face.
People who think cyberbullying is actually serious.
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I know that this is an old post, and I haven't seen much of you around in awhile, but I hope you haven't left.
The difference is the fact that people who sit behind a keyboard, anonymously, often from thousands of miles away, are going to be emboldened and say things that they'd never say if they lived in the same neighborhood, let alone to someone's face.
I do believe that difference is relevant. If someone's slapping your books from your arms in the hallway at school, it's much more threatening than some faceless, type-written attack online.
For the record, this isn't my post.
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dom180
8 years ago
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I'm kind of left. I'm not in love with this place anymore.
When you're facing bullying, you don't tend to rationally weigh up the dangers of the situation and decide how sad you should feel. The effect of bullying is to intimidate and frighten someone, and an intimidated and frightened person isn't going to think in those logical terms. A bullied person has that part of their awareness hijacked by their abuser/s; losing the ability to think clearly about it is one of the things that made bullying so terrible for me. Only recently, years later, have I come to think that I can finally look back on it and see it for what it was.
In my experience of being bullied, the most defining feeling was having no self-esteem. Bullying is an all-out attack on a person's self-esteem. You can deliver that sort of emotional pain online just as easily as you can face to face. The digital world is a massive part of growing up now. There is no line between the online world and the world of face to face. Hostile interactions online have the ability to totally ruin a kid's self-esteem.
I understand why you feel about this how you do, and I totally agree that the specific experiences are likely to be different. I just think that the pain they can cause isn't connected to a rational weighing-up of the risks.
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I'm sorry to hear that you're leaving, though I completely understand why Dom.
I'm a victim of bullying myself, so I really do understand where you're coming from.
With girls it's, in some ways, more vicious, in others not so much. With boys, physical size comes into play. That can go both ways. Girls, however, tend to attack on a social and psychological level. I'm not sure that I've really overcome that, but it's made me who I am, and I'm not sure that I could have faced the issues that confronted me in the "real world" if I hadn't lived through that torment.
I interact on message boards all over. I'm always amazed at the simplest comments, or opinions, that bring out the worst in people. I read responses that I recoil at, and think, "there's no fucking way you'd look someone in the eye and say that." No human could read body language from another and beat them down like that, even without a threat of backlash. It's sickening.
Anyway Dom, trust me, you're smart enough, and able enough to fight through whatever life throws at you. You have a promising life ahead of you. Make the most of it, no matter what monsters you face.
Best wishes.