People take advantage of me for being too nice

I have no control over my ‘niceness’ when I talk to someone in person. Inevitably, I see the patterns of manipulation emerge. I clearly see what they’re trying to do because the person they talked to seemed stupid.

Then, through communication by email or other action, they get a completely different response from what they were expecting, resulting in anything from a minor inconvenience to serious damage or loss on their part.

Sometimes I feel bad about it because I should set expectations from the start, but I’ve never lied or broken a promise.

Voting Results
38% Normal
Based on 8 votes (3 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 12 )
  • ellnell

    I am the same way due to my social anxiety but I just like you recognize manipulation immadiately especially with experience of a manipulative partner after a bad relationship I had in high school.
    I also struggle to call someone out in person but have less issue doing so over text where I also get time to properly plan what i'm gonna say and not get too nervous by being there with them in person.
    A guy tried to manipulate badly this year and he didn't succeed, he seemed surprised and repeated how nice and sweet I seemed he even called me naive once but used a different word for it so he got surprised that he didn't succeed. It's a good thing you can stand up for yourself even if it's not in person, in time you'll learn to stand up for yourself in any situation since you already have the strength to do so. Some people can never say no wether it's face to face or in some other way.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • RoseIsabella

    Honey, don't ever feel bad about saying no to people!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • private3

    You should really clarify what the question is before you make a post.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • RoseIsabella

      This post does seem rather vague, but my philosophy is to just say no. I don't like it when people feel comfortable just randomly asking me for favors.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • private3

        I don't think it's necessarily about people asking the OP to do things, though that's one possibility.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • RoseIsabella

          I rather suspect that OP is concerned about not giving people the wrong impression, because of his, or her tendency to be a more nice, and agreeable person.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
  • RoseIsabella

    No is a complete sentence!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • private3

      Technically it's not, but yeah.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • RoseIsabella

        As far as I'm concerned no means no, and anyone who questions my monosyllabic complete sentence is not worthy of my time by virtue of their inability to show me proper respect.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • private3

          It's not a sentence because it doesn't have a verb.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Garthh

    I have a friend who acts like this. Not ok

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • NormalAdventure

    The title of your post seems to be misleading some people based on the votes... You stated that you do stand up for yourself at some point, (good for you!) but you don't confront them in person. You are obviously one who can read people and have a heightened intuitive sense about others. Someone like you should always follow their intuition. It's possible that you may think everyone can see people as you do, but this is NOT the case. Try looking at the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator to learn more about your personality type. You may find it interesting and enlightening.

    Comment Hidden ( show )