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People just don't understand me, I've been judged by people who don't know me and people think I'm a nutter. Part of me wants to crawl into a hole and die, but I don't want to give up so easily. I should go down fighting. It's just, I don't have the guts. Are these normal thoughts?
You're not a nutter, and it's normal to feel like this from time to time. Just keep hanging on and fighting, life will get better ❤️
If you’re talking about suicidal thoughts, should see someone. If you’re just angsty, then it’s fine.
First, you don't need "to go down" at all. You need to find resources (that includes people) that help you realize the best version of yourself. That's what we ALL need, and whether it's realized or not, we all crave the feeling of being understood, validated, and safe. You deserve nothing less.
Please reconsider referring to anyone as "nutter." Even people with severe mental illness aren't "nutters," they're simply sick. Our species really needs to step out of the dark ages, and realize that psychology education and resources are indispensable tools. If negative attitudes about mental health didn't exist, more people would get help, resulting in a more well adjusted populace, meaning: less violence, more compassion and willingness to view our fellow humans as more than the labels we too often carelessly toss about like candy on Halloween.
I'm 53 yo and yet to meet a person so well adjusted that they couldn't benefit from learning more about human nature.
A wonderful resource that's helpful in understanding yourself and others is the Meyers-Briggs Typology Indicator (MBTI), which is freely available to take online at various Websites, though not all the tests are presented as intended, with some giving consistently inaccurate results.
PersonalityJunkie.com offers the full test as intended on their home page. Give it go, you'll likely discover you're not as strange as you think, and even if you are, you're far from alone.
P.S.
I'm not affiliated with the aforementioned, I simply found their take on the test refreshingly insightful and presented in an easy to follow format. I could direct you to several reputable online psychology resources that delve into all sorts of mental health topics, but I think PersonalityJunkie is one of the best starting points for people without formal education in the field.
I've often felt like this when the world seems to be against me, but it never is 100% and I've learned that with a fair bit of practice it's possible to learn to focus on even tiny little positive things rather than on the negative.
There's absolutely no point in being upset about being judged by people who don't know you, because obviously they're stupid and ignorant and not worth bothering about. Please don't let them affect you to the point of wanting to die because that means the fuckwits will win!
What do you mean by going down fighting? And why would people think you are a nutter?
Hang in there, use your good brain to think of some positive things to do and this bad time will pass.