One night stand...

78% Normal
8 Comments

On Halloween I went to a bar with the resolve to go home with someone. I am a well-educated and fairly sexually self-confident woman. I'm twenty-three. I haven't had sex in a year and a half because the last two sexual encounters were empty and unfulfilling and I wanted to take some time to reevaluate my needs. Well, I was feeling feisty and so I went out and spotted an attractive guy and fortunately, we had good chemistry. We talked, and it wasn't like our conversation was deep or fabulous but I felt like we had a great deal in common and I would have enjoyed getting to know him more. Unfortunately, we both drank a bit more before heading back to his place. As a result, I made a few insecure comments "WHY do you want the lights off?" and he was a bit sloppy. All in all, it wasn't the greatest sexual encounter, not terrible, but it left me desiring better communication with my partners. Anyway, I failed to tell him my full name, so it's doubtful we'll ever meet again...but, despite the awkwardness, I feel like there's a reason we had chemistry and I regret not asking to stay in touch. Is it normal to desire more from someone attractive than a one-night stand? I'd like to hear from guys as well. I was afraid that he would be put-off if I asked him for anything more than sex, but now that I'm back to my normal self, I feel like sex is a much bigger commitment than asking to stay in touch with someone on occasion via email. What's the general attitude about people you meet in bars and long-term communication?

Voting Results
78% Normal
Based on 55 votes (43 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 8 )
  • Murasaki
    14 years ago

    First of all, you are a knowledgable and amazing woman. Don't lose that by throwing it into vagrants at bars. You obviously know that what you did didn't meet your requirements or emotional needs. If you're both consenting adults, then there's no reason why you shouldn't go out for a bit of intimacy (I'm not here to preach about the immorality of one night stands or anything), but in the end you're going to be left with more of the same questions and a few new ones such as why you can't move beyond a one night stand.

    Love is hard. Finding someone to love is harder. Loving yourself is the hardest. You needed intimacy - if you're sexually active and in need, then over a year without sex can feel like an eternity! But it's not what you need if it's going to make you feel confused afterwards. Although it may pain you, instead of going for a quick, easy relationship, keep him waiting, form a bond first. You'll never know if that guy was the right one for you because you had sex too early with him and you obviously still wanted to keep in touch with him. You set out for to hook a guy and you got what you asked for. But let's face it, it's not what you wanted.

    Sex is the result of intimacy and feeling close to someone. That feeling is all that is needed to feel complete - not the sex. Selling yourself short by only thinking your good enough for a one night stand is making you miss what you're really in need of - love. Someone that's willing to exchange emails and wait for sex and be a lover not a one night stand is not someone you will meet in a bar, and especially not when you actively seek a brief encounter out. Be brave and take a chance.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    3
    3
  • andrian007
    14 years ago

    Don't ever live your life in regrets. Unless it's blatantly illegal, you can't do A while thinking about option B. If you want more than just a one-night stand, then you absolutely need to talk to him about it. The worst that can happen is that he will freak out and leave you. The best that can happen is that he will feel the same way and something wonderful happens. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life thinking "What if I had done so-and-so instead?"

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Magicer
    14 years ago

    Well, I dont believe in sex on the first day of the relation. he might have been looking for a one night stand too, so asking him wasn't really wise. maybe you can go back to the bar and try and Get closer to him this time.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • SALMAN
    13 years ago

    i got drunk once in a club and i just remember danceingwith this girl and takeing her home and in the moring i saw both of us naked and her face full of cum

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • blackmesa
      12 years ago

      lol

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • darkprince
    14 years ago

    normal yes... sad very

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Lysette
    14 years ago

    I have to read this a few times and I still think I am confused. How do you start with the legendary zip-less f**k and end up wondering if you should keep in touch? Does that not defeat the whole idea of a zip-less f**k?
    I don't know what say, lol. I think I will cry.
    I do not hunt in the bars so much. I was a stripper for maybe 13 or 14 yrs. I may try this. I am married but it is ok he does not know I home from last time I went out.
    I will try direct approach.
    Viens je vais te faire foutre !

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • alexisfreak
    14 years ago

    Umm. I guess this is normal. I mean, you guys were drunk, so you can't expect much. If this guy was into you, he would have stayed in touch.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0