The title seems a little weird; There shouldn't be a leadership in marriage.
Have you actually talked to her about this. Have you told her it bothers you she can't trust you with anything? Because really that's the problem, I think. If she questions you all the time it feels like she doesen't trust you and that hurts. Talk to her. Maybe then you'll also find out why she does what she does instead of just blaming it on a "weird feminist logic". That's your wife for god's sake! It's time to get to know her.
Now that we're married, she's constantly compromising my leadership
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The title seems a little weird; There shouldn't be a leadership in marriage.
Have you actually talked to her about this. Have you told her it bothers you she can't trust you with anything? Because really that's the problem, I think. If she questions you all the time it feels like she doesen't trust you and that hurts. Talk to her. Maybe then you'll also find out why she does what she does instead of just blaming it on a "weird feminist logic". That's your wife for god's sake! It's time to get to know her.