Nothing works on my wife

67% Normal
10 Comments


we have bin married for 4yrs and our sex life has not bin vary fulfilling and i am at the point where i am not going to take much more of the lack of sex in our marriage. before any one thinks im just a perv im not once a month is not ok. i have talked to her i have bin as romantic as i can be , and i have even asked her to see a therapist about her low labito i have even tried to let it go and let her go at her own speed. all i get is B.S. out of her. her latest is "i dont want to do it to much because i dont want it to not mean any thing when we do." well sweat heart sometimes i dont want it to mean any thing but a f@#$. its boring in bed we have 3 positions we do it in. she will not do any thing i would like to do or have her do to me. you know what i can keep on going on about this but i think you get the point.
i love my wife, i dont want to cheat on her, and i dont want to leave her. i just dont know what to do any more.

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Comments ( 10 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • BluntsRolled
    11 years ago | pl

    Cheat or leave, that simple.

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  • cupcake_wants
    10 years ago | pl

    Apparently she's not feeling the romance part (which she obviously needs) so u need to be more loving and less animalistic. (Bcuz she said its not meaning anything) start out with simple affection. Maybe playing with her hair then kissing her face, dont hurry.. be patient, take ur time. Dont make it obvious ur only after penetration. Observe her reaction. Try a bottle of wine or her favorite alcohol. Lay with her and talk to her, spoon her, etc. Be romeo, not slam bam thank u ma'am.

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  • messed_up_guy
    11 years ago | pl

    Is she getting it elsewhere?

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  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago | pl

    That's rough. I usually see these post and say something like "Try turning her on!" But that's not working. There are things she can do to raise her labido such as exercise and certain foods. Maybe try going down on her a little then trying it. If she says no, tell her how you're feeling. Like you really need ot find release and you want to do it with her! But you tried everything, maybe she'll open up to the idea. Also, big thing for women that just drop sex. A woman will stop having sex with you if something is mentalling holding her back. It can be something like: he pressures me for sex: he doesn't need me, he has porn: he was checking out my sister: I don't think he loves me: he's mean all the time, he doens't deserve it. It can be anything! So biggest most helpful thing I can tell you if all else fails, sit down and ask her why, don't let her get away with " I don't know" Suggest things you think you could have done and see if the answer comes out. It's super common. My dads gf witheld sex from him for 5 years because she over heard him saying to her family "If she doesn't like it she can pack her things and get out." (He's a dick sometimes)

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    11 years ago | pl

    "i dont want to cheat on her, and i dont want to leave her. " Then don't. But don't use her as an excuse to justify it if you do choose to cheat.

    I know you suggested sending her to a therapist but consider that ... it sounds a bit one-sided. Kinda like telling a partner, "you're not doing what I want - I'll get a doctor to FORCE you to change to suit me!"

    I'm not saying don't have therapy, but... don't make it just about forcing her to change. Effective therapy will mean BOTH of you work together, and you will have to make changes too.

    If it's one-sided therapy then it's nothing more than two people ganging up on a third to beat them down with the "you're not good enough" speech.

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    • basic175
      11 years ago | pl

      therapy is my last dich effert and i know it will be both of us . would you rather have your lover, husband, partner, or what ever, TRY or just give up and kick you to the curb. i have bin trying for 4 yrs. she hasnt, and she thinks that what she does is fine and its not and yes i have talked to her about it. i have not pushed not once now im pushing . heres the thing some people only want it once and a wile and it take care of there needs but guess what theres two people in a relationship and there needs need to be meat just as much as the other .
      you want me to sit and hold you hand and cuddle with you well i want you to ride that thing and if your not, why should i hold your hand and cuddle
      all men are the same, we do what we have to to get into there pants but if we cant get into there pants we are going to stop doing what it takes. lol there is the fun part if i dont give her what she wants she will at some point find some one else who will. so with that said, are we (men) so wrong for thinking about getting what we need form some were else
      BUT she has bin trying to make a change once a week for the last 3 weeks is a good start and really thats all i need
      no she hasnt seen a therapist yet she might still though. all people do the same things one way shape or another , we always go back to the way we were its just a mater of time

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      • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
        11 years ago | pl

        if she's trying then let it be for a bit.

        however it still sounds like you're trying to convince yourself that it's OK to seek what you "need" elsewhere.

        When people cheat - men or women - they often try to 'justify' it by blaming the spouse.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago | pl

    just play with her

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  • ExcessiveBDSM
    11 years ago | pl

    Tell her if she doesn't give you what you want you'll find someone that will. But of course giver her time to change to adjust...

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  • kelili
    11 years ago | pl

    Give her half a viagra. They say it works on women too:D

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