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I have a huge tendency to be sad and depressed and notice that nothing good comes from my life. Then, on the occasions I try to be positive before doing something I dread, why is it that it turns out WORSE than if I just dreaded it? Now it's really showing me that everything I do is worthless; there's really no reason to have a positive outlook on certain things and that my life generally sucks.....
anyone else?
I never believed that there was any such thing as a born loser....
I never believed that was a truth.
until life taught me different...
I now see that there are born losers and that some people were never meant to be born at all....
They were not supposed to be here...nothing will work out for them because there is no place for them here....
They are trying to make a place when there is NO place for them to be.
all i can offer is my personal experience
i grew-up in somewhat dysfunctional, grumpy and cynical community. and by "community", I mean my high school friends, my neighbors, and coworkers
if possible, change your scenery and change your friends. and for your job, what do you really want to do? if you wanna be a chef, but your family is all auto mechanics ... be the chef.
Talk to some people about this who you can look in the eye and really speak with.
I've lost so many people to suicide, I can't stand to let someone fall down that painful path.
I've been where you've been plenty of times, life is so hard and often times it seems that there is no rhyme or reason, but you need to know that we are ALIVE. We live and breathe and love and eat and walk this earth and that's amazing. We can feel pain in our hearts worse than anything that could physically befall us, we can sense danger, we can look at each other and feel what we're all feeling. Everyone is connected. There is a purpose. You have a calling. A destiny. I know it's hard to believe, but that destiny is not to kill yourself. Life is shit a lot of the time, but there is such beauty in all of it, even the painful times.