Not a virgin, but no legitimate 'first time'

Well I should say I don't know what to conclude as my first time. I was raped when I was 4, had other strange encounters in childhood, molested from 10-12 and made to have sex with my cousin by said child molester. Regarding the cousin, although I was sick to my stomach and very scared during the situations, I did get off sometimes. My first willing, normal time was when I was 15, just 3 years later. But by that point, there was no awkward virgin story to tell. I wasn't clingy and already knew what I was doing. I'm really confused as to how I should look at myself. The only feeling I know and own is that I'm complete garbage to be used and thrown away. So where in my story did I lose my virginity? By science and religion, it was taken from me when I was 4. If you try to stretch it to first orgasm, I was 12 and I didn't want that either. I want to believe I was 15 and it was my choice, but my logic argues against it. I want very badly to believe I had a normal virgin experience. Please be honest with me.

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  • I'm so sorry for all you've been through :(

    I think you should go with what you feel was right for you...so 15. The rest of it should not have happened. I know technically that's probably not accurate, but I honestly don't think that that has any bearing on your situation.

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  • Technically it's when your vagina has been penetrated by a penis.

    No one would expect you to concede rape as your "first time"

    Despite the circumstances I would suggest to view the time you lost your virginity as when the first time you gave consent for penetration.

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  • I would say you lost it when you were 15 years old. I would also say that you are not garbage and do not deserve to be used and thrown away. If anyone is garbage it's the person or persons who've abused and hurt you.

    You're a child of God and you're worthy of good things, please remember this.

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  • Its a sad experience you have gone through...but it is definitely when you were 15.
    You are beautiful.
    There was no fault of your all your childhood....throw away the guilt n sick feelings.
    Look at your days to come....

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  • You were fifteen. When people ask when you lost your virginity they are referring to consensual sex. The other times weren't sex, they were theft.

    I'm sorry for all you've been through.

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  • YOU are GORGEOUS and have been hurt and I AM sorry! None of your life's experiences define YOU they do make you who YOU are and that is BEAUTIFUL! If I had to answer your Q I would have to say 15 because YOU get to decide and nobody else. Everything that doesn't kill us makes us us stronger, wiser, and even MORE BEAUTIFUL! YOU have incredible strength and courage thx for sharing you are "One" of my heros and I have few.

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