Normal that my wife hits and shoves me?

19% Normal
43 Comments

Not in an abusive or violent way but she does things like pushes me out of the way to get to something she wants that I'm standing in front of, or when I say something that she doesn't agree with, she might pop me on the shoulder or something. It's not painful, but it's painfully annoying. I've tried to explain to her that this habit is annoying as hell, but she just won't listen. How can I get it into her head that this is driving me up the wall?

Voting Results
19% Normal
Based on 47 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 43 )
  • Ellenna
    5 years ago

    How long have you been married and has she always done this? I'd be giving her an ultimatum that you'll walk out if she does it again: it's disrespectful and immature.

    If you have children and she does it in front of them, what is that teaching them?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      We don't have kids, and have been married for 11 years. Most of her habits are good ones, I just hate being shoved and swatted at. It really eats in to my soul more and more each year. I've got to get her to stop.

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      • Ellenna
        5 years ago

        Tell her calmly and clearly how (and not when she's just done it) exactly how you feel about what she does and tell her you want her to stop doing it.

        You could also try just saying nothing and walking out of the room (maybe even out of the house?) every time or turning your back on her, still saying nothing.

        It occurs to me that it's possible she has some bottled up resentment or anger towards you about something and this is how she's expressing it .....just a thought, and that doesn't mean it's acceptable behavior.

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        • factcheck
          5 years ago

          I second this. Walking out of the room or out of the house should get her attention without the potential of escalating things even further like the idiotic "hit her back" suggestions.

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    • User007
      5 years ago

      So you are like to destroy a marriage bcuz of that shes just pushed him?? hahah please leave this earth u idiot!

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      • Ellenna
        5 years ago

        Not because she's pushing or hitting him as such, but because she's not respecting his wishes to not do it. I was assuming if he had the fortitude to give her that ultimatum, she'd stop doing it, and if not he'd know how little she values the marriage.

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        • User007
          5 years ago

          Dont put ur feet on husband-wifes problems even if u r going to solve their problems, later they both going to blame u if anything happens wrong!

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          • Ellenna
            5 years ago

            I don't recall putting my feet anywhere except under this computer desk and OP asked for feedback. In real life off the internet I would of course be very careful about getting involved in a couple's issues because you're right about ending up with both sides blaming you rather than dealing with what's going on between them.

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        • User007
          5 years ago

          And what kind of husband he is, if he dosent even tolerate being pushed by his wife sometimes!?? All wifes do that stupid things to thier husbands,just ignore that!

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          • Ellenna
            5 years ago

            All "wifes" push and hit their husbands? I don't think so and why should he tolerate her ignoring his wishes?

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            • User007
              5 years ago

              in this world nothing is perfect my lady! its healthy for our health to ignore some things and when u r in a relationship then its very important to ignore some things, if u r not then u will going to end ur relationship one day!

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  • chugjug
    5 years ago

    Tell her to figure out a different way to express her frustration to you, like using words. If she doesn't stop, start using exaggerated body reactions, like fake-falling back, or flinching dramatically.

    I think some women are really prone to putting their hands on men because they know they're not physically affected by it. If she finds your dramatic reactions annoying, she may be less tempted to put her hands on you.

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    • factcheck
      5 years ago

      I still prefer the "walk away" idea, but I definitely laughed at the idea of an exaggerated reaction. Falling down on the floor, knocking over a table or a chair or something that won't break, bursting into a toddler-like scream. Ok, maybe not the last one.

      I think that'd be a lot of fun, and it'd probably make her stop. Just be careful not to hurt yourself...although if you end up with a bruise or something, that'd help get her attention.

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  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    Next time she does that shit tell her that you don't like it, and that you never have.

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    • Cuntsiclestick
      5 years ago

      For some reason when I look at this post, I feel like if op was a woman with a husband that does this, half of the people here would've answered differently. Maybe that's just me though. XD

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        5 years ago

        That's exactly what I was thinking. If I were to shove and swat at my wife everyone here would be calling me a controller and abuser and a few other choice words. Is that what you were thinking?

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        • Cuntsiclestick
          5 years ago

          Pretty much.

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            5 years ago

            😃 we know.

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        • RoseIsabella
          5 years ago

          Well, I personally think your wife's behavior is controlling, and abusive. I don't want anyone putting their hands on me out of anything but affection.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    5 years ago

    True. This isn't a serious thing, I just get really annoyed with her. Only so far it should be taken. Rather than let it escalate, I'd rather just deal with it.

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    5 years ago

    Haha. Yeah, she's Irish, all her grandparents were from Ireland.

    It's so goddamned annoying I just can't stand it. I'm getting to the,point where I don't stand near her very often, which is annoying within itself.

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  • cipro
    5 years ago

    Cunt punt

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    • DaddyLongJuice
      5 years ago

      lol same

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  • trexagireve
    5 years ago

    This is called marriage...

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    5 years ago

    The rolled up newspaper didn't work for you? Try a squirt gun maybe.

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  • [Old Memory]
    5 years ago

    I think it's up to you to decide whether this is too much for you or not. Many people here tell you to divorce while others argue against and tell you to tolerate. Quite useless discussions. At the end of the day, you decide this. I'd probably discuss it and then take her to a therapist since it's already becoming serious.

    If I were you, I'd try something sexual when this happens. Like fingering her when she does this. Trying to shift it rapidly to a completely different thing might help in changing the habit. But I don't know if it works. It's just what my instinct tells me to do.

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  • anonY123
    5 years ago

    Be kind to her but let her know how you feel politely so she can stop

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  • LornaMae
    5 years ago

    He could also try a rolled-up newspaper... hehe.

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  • DaddyLongJuice
    5 years ago

    IF SHE PUSHES YOU PUSH BACK. SHOW THAT YOU CAN PUSH TOO!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    • Ducklord246
      5 years ago | pl

      Thats an unhealthy way of thinking

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  • User007
    5 years ago

    So pushing a husband is a crime??

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      5 years ago

      What the hell do you mean by that? Nobody said it was a crime, just annoying.

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