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She's 19 and she only dated the guy for 5 months. He works full time 12 hour shifts, they see each other 3 days a week.
She wants to marry for health insurance and she wants to not invite any family. her mom doesnt care but is clearly depressed about it and her brother, my husband of 5 years is very upset with her as am i.
I want her to live with a guy she loves and knows and marry with all family present.
OP: I think you're quite justified in your feelings if things are as you say they are. I do, however, find her mother's reaction quite odd, as is the fact that your SIL doesn't want anyone else at the wedding. I wonder what her real motivation is? Where's her father in all of this? Is she simply trying to escape a more serious problem at home? Perhaps there is abuse going on that your brother never experienced due to being male, and may be completely unaware of. It's not unusual for such things to be kept hidden. Something's definitely wrong with this picture - no normal girl her age would want such a thing - but I suspect there's missing information here. What the underlying problem is, I don't know, but I definitely think there *is* an underlying problem.