Your descriptions of your inner thoughts remind me of myself (quite a lot actually), so I can see where you're coming from. Haven't had a boyfriend and am also going off to college. I can barely talk to guys without feeling awkward as well.
But I've come to sort of a bit of a realization that: I don't need a boyfriend in my life. Especially one that is only looks and not much to compensate for it.
I've found that talking to a guy as a friend is much more relaxing and enjoyable than flirting with one (going either way). We're all people so we should all act like it, right? But don't worry, I've felt the same way for basically my entire life so don't feel like you're weird. Just make friends and don't hassle yourself with guys who aren't respectful to you in any way.
People will love you for you, not for who you aren't.
Never had a boyfriend
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Your descriptions of your inner thoughts remind me of myself (quite a lot actually), so I can see where you're coming from. Haven't had a boyfriend and am also going off to college. I can barely talk to guys without feeling awkward as well.
But I've come to sort of a bit of a realization that: I don't need a boyfriend in my life. Especially one that is only looks and not much to compensate for it.
I've found that talking to a guy as a friend is much more relaxing and enjoyable than flirting with one (going either way). We're all people so we should all act like it, right? But don't worry, I've felt the same way for basically my entire life so don't feel like you're weird. Just make friends and don't hassle yourself with guys who aren't respectful to you in any way.
People will love you for you, not for who you aren't.