Never good enough

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9 Comments

I feel like I’m never good enough. I work a full time job and raise my almost 5 year old alone. I do not go out. I do not have any friends. I do not date. I don’t even so much have a casual conversation on the phone. I am very routine - I wake up, go to work, come home and do it all over the next day. I just got a promotion at work, but I’m not excited. I do everything for my baby, but still feel like a terrible mother. If I’m not working than I am thinking about every possible thing that could go wrong. Like my child getting hurt, me getting hurt or a family member. I feel this isn’t normal to feel this way. I don’t know who to talk to.

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80% Normal
Based on 10 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • olderdude-xx
    3 years ago

    I understand. Life can be very challenging.

    You need to find a way to get your life back into balance.

    Mental (which includes social)
    Physical
    Spiritual

    You should be doing something (even if its just 5 minutes) on each area every day.

    I know it can be hard to balance life and decide what's important. Here's one of the tests I use to decide what I need to be doing (it's not the only one - but it sorts out a lot).

    Will the outcome of the activity have any effect on my life in 3 months, 1 year, 5 years, or later. If the answer is no then what else can I do that will affect my future that's more important.

    Another common thing - over focusing on your child. They do not require your attention all the time, unless they are very sick. Most parents learn when they can leave them alone and focus on time for themselves and for their friends. That also shows the child that its normal for them to spend time with others as well.

    I wish you the best with this...

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  • Cliche1234
    3 years ago

    You really need to find someone to pour your heart out regarding your issue. Even though you don't have friends, maybe there is someone trustworthy from your family members you can talk to. Bottling up miserable feeling to yourself is never a good thing to do.

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  • noid
    3 years ago

    OP I’m sorry your life is how it is. I don’t have a kid but I know about being single and not having time with friends and having a very routine life. People are always on here saying to get a hobby whenever there is a post about depressive issues. I will say that having a hobby helps though it is not enough. I like to grow plants and I have a bunch of them at home that I enjoy taking care of and repotting and such in my free time. I’m sure you don’t have a lot of free time but if there was one or two things you could do and enjoy that would take your mind off things that helps.

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  • [Old Memory]
    3 years ago

    You know on one hand that's actually a sign you're a great mother, because you're putting the child first and you're staying vigilant by assessing possible risks

    It may relieve you a little to know that line of thinking has been ingrained into you by thousands of years of evolution; imagine you're in the Savannah 5000BC and you hear a rustle in the grass behind you. You think it might be a lion, and if you think you're right then you'll increase your chances of survival, but if you think you're wrong then you increase your chances of becoming lunch

    I'm going through some similar stuff, and it's tricky but I'm just trying to be aware of all the possibilities and act in the best way to get what I want, housing, clothes, a cat, dental work, getting my life set up

    I've had a lot of set backs usually caused by people who don't like me, so trust doesn't come easy, but right now my boss has also studied psychology, as well as philosophy I think, so it's easier for us to understand each other and for me to trust him

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    • noid
      3 years ago

      I don’t think bosses are trustworthy.

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      • [Old Memory]
        3 years ago

        We have a mutual gain, I run a store by myself 60 hours a week and get great numbers, and I get the overtime to afford 3000 down for a car, 2 consecutive 1000 to move into an apartment, get electric and internet ready for move in, a 2000 advance to afford the car, and have 1500 ish as a cushion for the next two months or so

        Plus I can read facial expressions pretty well, even though his are neutral/vague/somewhat stoic, I can still glean things by how his eyes look

        I personally think what I'm getting is fair and even if I get fired I can go to all the pizza places in my area and show them how well I can make pizza or breadsticks and tell them all the work I did at my last job, I could even print out some numbers which being the only manager are very accurate to what I can specifically offer

        But right now we're both benefiting greatly so I can trust the situation enough to be relaxed

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        • noid
          3 years ago

          Good

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          • [Old Memory]
            3 years ago

            You ever meet someone who said through sub communication "if you don't cause problems you won't be a problem"?

            That's kinda what I think I have with him

            I've had plenty of shit bosses though, and he's gone so far out of his way to show he's not like how we both seem to know how bad bosses could be

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  • [Old Memory]
    3 years ago

    You have depression.

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