My wife finds sex painful.

11% Normal
5 Comments

My wife and I do not have sex because she finds it painful. This has been the situation for many many years. Investigation just after an attempt at intercourse reveals that her vaganal opening has become damaged by the act. I do not have an abnormally large penis by any means, but I also do not think my wife has an abnormally small vagania. It seems no matter how slow I am nor how much lubricant/foreplay is employed, the damage occurs and sexual congress cannot commence. Is this normal?

Is It Normal?
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  • theotherblonde
    7 years ago | pl

    It is not your fault.she might have vaginal dryness or it might be something more serious.GO TO A DR.You both need some peace of mind.

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  • DADNSCAL
    10 years ago | pl

    No, see a doctor, because if even with lubricant, she's getting torn, something is wrong. It may be that her vagina was damaged during childbirth, and never fully healed. It must be painful for her, too, which is never normal.

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  • ReaperAJ
    13 years ago | pl

    This is very sad really. Shame, I feel sorry for both of you. I am also overweight and currently in a heck of a battle to lose the weight, which incidentally is due to a glucose intolerance problem and not overeating; I am a small eater. Anyway, it does seriously affect one's sex life because of how we feel disgust at our own body. No matter much you may love and accept her the way she is, that will not change how she feels about herself. Only she can do that.

    As far as the tearing goes, that is strange indeed and should not be left alone until such time as... what about your relationship??? You should be able to maintain a healthy sex life and she really should get to see a doctor asap about this.

    I googled this and this is what I found. Read the whole thread as it gets more informative as it goes along. Apparently there is a condition that is caused by thin lining of the vaginal area and can be treated with steroid creams and a topical testosterone to thicken the lining. Seems this situation is not that uncommon but is not normal either.

    http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Womens-Health/Vaginal-Tearing-during-sex/show/28640

    hope that helps.

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  • WayOutThere
    14 years ago | pl

    This is not normal. When it does happen, it's usually a mismatch in 'size.' But, if that's not the case, it's hard to imagine what might be causing it.

    You say this has been the case for many years. Have you seen doctors about it? What kind of 'damage' are we talking about? How old is she?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      14 years ago | pl

      Not normal? Oh :(

      We've not seen a doctor about it, my wife is currently on the waiting list for surgery (stomache bipass, she's obese). We've decided to effectively cease all sexual activity for a few years until her weight is at a level she is comfortable with (her decision, not mine. She blames her weight for everything including our sexual difficulties). Maybe then we'll be able to go to the doctor about this, if it continues.

      The damage is tearing, usually on the lower part of her opening but the most recent tearing was on the upper part.

      She is 25.

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