My voice is too "feminine" for a female so people don't take me seriously?

50% Normal

Is this normal?

I've had so many comments like you sound like a 15 year old girl (I'm an adult), you could never be a boss because you sound too feminine and not comanding, you need to talk differently if you want people to listen to you, etc. I literally had someone at my work tell me I need to change how I talk because I sound too "sweet" and "girly" and that no one listens to me because of this. They said just harden your voice when you talk.

I don't try to sound feminine, I just do.

At work, it's true that when I'm telling someone what to do, they typically dont listen to me so I kind of hate my voice. Everyone around me has more rough voices and mine is just flaky

Normal?

Voting Results

50% Normal

Based on 16 votes (8 yes)

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Comments ( 16 )

WeirdGuyFr0mTheSouth

4 years ago

Wtf is wrong with having a feminine voice? Were the ones that told you this butchy girls with manly voices? There's nothing wrong with having a feminine voice. Its beautiful. There's so many other factors in employees not listening to you. I doubt seriously its your cute voice. It could be tons of things like age, seniority, attitude, the way you ask. Dont try to change your pretty voice.

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CountessDouche

4 years ago

Don't let this get to you. I'm guessing I'm a bit older than you (mid 30's) & I've worked quite a few jobs, some normal office jobs & many in a male dominated field l, where I had to be in charge.

People love to say that sexism doesn't exist in America anymore (compare it to the middle east & shrug), but it honestly does. I've experienced the same thing as you, people telling me that I sound too girly or feminine to take seriously, people telling me that I sounded sexy over the phone (when I was 16 and working as a receptionist), people calling me a bitch for telling them what to do, people offering to help me with basic tasks because they assumed i couldn't do them as a woman, people telling me to feel free to take my shirt off when i was working at a hot job site...it definitely happens.

What you do with it is entirely up to you. You can be loud about it & feel like you have something to prove...refuse to admit when you don't know what you're doing & refuse to ask for help...or...you can just be really fucking good at your job. Be competent. Be smart. Be fucking admirable & command respect because you know what you're doing. You're allowed to have the bitchiest, girliest lady voice in the universe if you use it to say smart things, if it's obvious that you work hard & that you know what you're doing. People will respect you if you command respect, end of story.

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- RoseIsabella
  
  4 years ago
  
  I feel for you, and I'm sorry that you've had those experiences. I used to work in technical support/customer service, and I guess the truth is that people didn't generally argue with with me when I gave them directions. A unexpected benefit would be that dogs tended to listen me, and take commands well. Cats actually tend to prefer more baby talk. Honestly I sing to my cat a lot on my morning, and he likes it.
  
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  - CountessDouche
    
    4 years ago
    
    Thanks for that comment. It made me smile & I definitely sing to my cat too. Her favorite song is
    
    "I know what cats want
    I know what cats like
    I know what cats want
    Cats...want...fewd!"
    
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    - RoseIsabella
      
      4 years ago
      
      Now that would be totally awesome!
      
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  - Aethylfritha
    
    4 years ago
    
    my cat gets upset when i sing! He thinks im dying.
    
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ellnell

4 years ago

I went to school with a girl who had a very high pitch voice once.
I have a pretty quiet voice myself, probably because i'm shy and don't talk much and on top of that I look 15 so people don't take me seriously often lol.
It's perfectly normal though, you can't help that but if you want a stronger voice you can practice your voice kind of like practicing for singing but for talking instead.

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d0esnormalmatter

4 years ago

Man I love voices like this. I mean maybe it's not the most professional or intelligent sounding but its give and take.

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RoseIsabella

4 years ago

Your voice probably doesn't sound too feminine, but it probably sounds child-like. Regardless it's not your fault, it's more proof of the immaturity of the people who are judging your voice more than anything else.

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- Bazinga
  
  4 years ago
  
  Hope I'm not out of place here, but weren't you a radio announcer long ago? Why don't you tell her how to sound good in a lower pitched voice with more resonance?
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    4 years ago
    
    Hey, thanks for remembering, but I don't know what to tell her except to speak from her diaphragm, not from her head, because that will sound more high pitched, and nasal. I always breathe, and speak from my diaphragm, but I've been an alto since I was a little kid.
    
    https://youtu.be/5D6cC5PALkI
    I like what this lady is saying about the larynx, and it kinda reminds me of what if felt like when I was playing lower notes on the flute back in the day.
    
    I also think this guy explains about the position of the larynx quite well. When he talks about lowering the Adams apple it reminds me of what I said about when I used to play the flute.
    https://youtu.be/0ksqqY-SAa8
    
    I'm surprised neither of the two professionals talked about diaphragmatic breathing, but that may be something I picked up from playing a woodwind instrument in band in junior high, and high school.
    
    Finally, I found this retro instructional video which reminds me of the stuff I was taught in a voice dictation class long ago, and far away. I still think some of this may come more naturally to horn players, both woodwind, and brass.
    https://youtu.be/z4SW_xMueXU
    
    I hope that this stuff helps OP.
    
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    - Bazinga
      
      4 years ago
      
      Good stuff. Nice to have you on campus.
      
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bigsausavebaws

4 years ago

major turn on for me. enjoy it

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XYXY

4 years ago

If you want to be more assertive I’m sure there are courses you can sign up to that can help you with this. It’s not just about how your voice sounds, you’re female, you are supposed to sound feminine, but there are other ways in which you can show assertiveness. Look online and find a course near where you live.

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lordofopinions

4 years ago

I have known a few women whose voices sound like squeaky toys but I always take them seriously. It's not their fault their voice sounds like it does. If it really bothers you try to find a speech therapist.

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Aethylfritha

4 years ago

Im a very girly girl with a soft voice. I get it.
Either just shrug it off or start chain smoking and wear a Wonder Woman costume. Lol jk. It is annoying.

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Are You Normal?

My voice is too "feminine" for a female so people don't take me seriously?