My toilet broke and i had to poop in a bag

To start this is absolutely humiliating....my toilet broke last night and my husband has my car while his is in the shop. I had to poop and absolutely could not hold it anymore and there are no neighbors for miles. I pooped in a garbage bag (that was a mission itself)and threw it in the dumpster. I'm horrified the trash man will see it and know it came from my house. Fyi the house is being remodeled so yes, there is only one toilet. Is there a way they could know it came from my house?? I've tried looking it up on Google and haven't come across anything pertaining to this matter particularly.

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80% Normal
Based on 30 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 31 )
  • Emokate

    I don't think they rummage through the garbage and if by chance they saw it they'd probably just think it's dog poo.

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  • LionsMane

    Do you not realize that these are GARBAGE MEN aka TRASH MEN. Their entire careers are smelly bags. The only way trash, that ends up in a dumpster, is humiliating or could effect your life is if you were, say, a guy and had purchased a dildo and someone saw the box with the receipt...or...if there was (either) someone looking to get dirt on you or steal money from you, finding valuable banking information or a social security #, or private e-mails or something. But if you're worried about the fact that you crapped in a bag because you had no other option, that's silly.

    Side note, I took a trip to the Grand Canyon once...14 hour drive or so. Found myself in the middle of nowhere with a need to poop, like you did. No gas stations in sight, couldn't hold it anymore. There was a random area with stuff like a rusted microwave and a mound of dirt, and scattered clothes. Pooped there. Actually found a gay porn magazine and had to wipe my ass with it.

    Your story is nothing to a lot of people.

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  • "Absolutely humiliating" for you = absolutely hilarious for me! You're overthinking this, btw. I doubt the trash guy would give pay enough attention to notice, plus the poop might be under some other stuff.

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  • They will just think one of the grungy renovators you hired did it. No big deal and life is life.

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  • pendletonGibbs

    Why not just use a fork and break it apart in the sink? Now the evidence is out there. What happens when the garbage man sees a human deuce dropping out of the truck and knows it came from you? Better find a good lawyer.

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  • Dustyair

    So the garbage man opens all your garbage bags to see if you pooped in them? And if you did, does he post it on Youtube?

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    • It's not local pickup, there's a big dumpster there we ordered for the contractors. There's alot of mixed stuff like our old vanity, flooring, and etc. I don't know if they have to sift and sort it or how it all works. Maybe my poop is so special that he would be so kind to post it on YouTube.

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      • Dustyair

        Ha ha! I will keep a look out on youtube in that case :)

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    • Nickvey

      and the house too

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  • Checkmate_King

    double bag it no one will know.

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    • pendletonGibbs

      Or just poop in a pringles container and place it back on the store shelf.

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  • CozmoWank

    I can't believe anyone would throw away perfectly good poop.

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    • pendletonGibbs

      I know, right? All mine ends up in the open cesspool in my neighbor's yard.

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  • Pumpurrnickel

    I don't see an alternative, so normal.

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  • RoseIsabella

    If there are no neighbors for miles, why not just poop in the yard instead?

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    • It's 20 degrees and the ground is frozen.

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      • McBean

        Truckers poop in coffee cans all the time. It's all part of life on the road.

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      • RoseIsabella

        It's 23° here in Delaware right now, and I'd totally do it, especially if there was snow on the ground, if it weren't for all my elderly suburban neighbors. It would be worth pooping outside in the freezing cold just to watch the steam rise off my poo.

        I remember back when it snowed really hard that one time when I was living in Mississippi, although it was hard, because folks down South aren't used to driving in snow I still have fond memories of steam rising off my Sheltie's turds. Whatever happens in this life, whatever hardships I may face and sorrows I might be forced to endure no one can take that precious memory away from me!

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        • pendletonGibbs

          Wait... I thought you lived in Texas?

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          • RoseIsabella

            Not anymore
            :-(

            At least it's nice and cold, and snows in the winter here!
            :-)

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        • Checkmate_King

          Does signing your name in the snow with steaming urine float your boat too?

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          • RoseIsabella

            Nope.

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    • e51pegasi

      And then find somewhere to bury your embarrassing excrement?

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      • RoseIsabella

        Hey, I never said I was embarrassed.

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  • Aethylfritha

    Honestly its no big deal. People do that while camping. Just don't worry about it.

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  • Mehereok1

    No big deal. When my home office was in my finished basement, there was only a half-bath, and, the upflush toilet didn't work. Many times, if I couldn't make it to the upstairs bathroom, I'd stretch a food store plastic bag across the non-working toilet, which was dry on the inside anyway, take a hefty dump and pee in the bag, and tie it up when I was done. Tossed outside in the trash can. Like one guy said, they're trash guys. It's their job to haul away smelly stuff.

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  • Ummitsme

    Who gives a shit?

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  • BarakaBrat

    Just shit in the shower, but just let your asshole close really tight on the poop and break it into small pieces so it can go down the drain easier.

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  • magic7

    Rent a portapotty

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  • Why even care? I pooped in someone’s back property once. They probably just thought it was dog poop and grumbled about all the damn strays in the area XDD

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  • Tealights

    LOL

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