My stepmom's jealousy is forcing my dad and i apart. advice needed

My Dad has been remarried to a woman for 4 years now (been together for 7). Throughout the relationship I have dealt with constant jealousy from her about the time I spend with my Dad, which is infrequent since I've been living in a different state for 7 years now. I've tried to be understanding and patient but honestly have had outbursts when it comes to the way she treats my father and I. My Dad has been becoming more and more of a pushover and the one on one time I get to spend with him has dwindled to almost non-existent. He can't even talk to me on the phone with her around because she will interrogate him about everything that we say. I invited my Dad to visit me and he recently told me that she will be coming with him. I frankly don't want her to come and I fear that if I tell my Dad that, I will never get to see him. I don't think I can continue to do this anymore but I also love my Dad and we've always been extremely close. I feel like no matter what I do she gets exactly what she wants which is pushing me out and making sure my Dad stays under her thumb. Do I tell him she isn't welcome this time around or grin through it yet again?

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44% Normal
Based on 9 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • Tell him, be 110% honest.

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    • thisgrl4794

      Deep down I know that's what I have to do but I fear what the result will be. Thank you for taking the time to read and reply.

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      • *finger guns* No problemo

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  • sissycakes

    basically this is one of those things that you may want to tell your dad but will end up causing too many problems for you most likely and make you regret that you said anything. i used to be a daddys girl, but now i want to cry because my dad seriously dislikes me does not want to be around me, and i have had to come to terms with this in less than a year. at least your dad cares about you.

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  • trexagireve

    Your stepmom is using sex as a weapon, you have to find out how you can beat that

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  • SwickDinging

    You have to just grin and bear it I'm afraid.

    Although you can still request some alone with dad, casually. Just play it off as no big deal, but say something like "my dad and I are just Gunna pop out for lunch and have some father daughter time, we never get to see each other anymore since I moved". If she has an issue with this then at least it's public how insane she is being.

    I understand exactly how you feel and it took my dad 18 yrs to leave the woman who was doing this. I know that doesn't sound hopeful but he needs to come to that conclusion himself, you can't force it. In the meantime just put up with this this awful woman or you won't get to see your dad.

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  • Nikclaire

    I would be careful. Just be grateful you have a father who loves you and enjoy your time with him.

    You don't know what goes on in their relationship. Your dad may like being subservient to a domineering bitch. Maybe he is one of those cuck losers. You never know.

    Just suck it up and don't mess with their relationship. If you can't handle her, set boundaries for yourself. Is it worth it to not see your Dad because of her?

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  • brutus

    Tell ur dad to be a man.

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  • thisgrl4794

    Yes, I feel as if my life has become a stereotypical role but I refuse to diminish their marriage or give my dad an ultimatum in divorcing her. Nor can I go on a camping trip and push her air mattress onto a lake lol. I'm a young adult and unfortunately the stereotypical storyline has never posed a realistic outcome.

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  • eeeekkk

    Why is she jealous? Your his daughter. What a vile woman. You have every right to spend time with your dad. Sit down and talk to your dad about it, make sure to keep the discussion civil and have a fair argument to avoid any personal attacks. Maybe even if you feel comfortable bring your dad's girlfriend into it, but I don't blame you if you don't want to. All my best luck to you, families should be in harmony not filled with jealousy.

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  • RoseIsabella

    Tell him about all of this when you can have a normal conversation with him without her lurking around, and eavesdropping. She sounds like an awful bitch.

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    • LloydAsher

      Aren’t most step mothers though?(speaking hyperbolically)

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      • RoseIsabella

        I guess. I'm happy to say that I don't have any first hand knowledge of that stereotype. Although I trust that the stereotype exists for a reason, after all it's probably as old as time itself.

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