My son says I never taught him how to be a man?

As others pointed out, you didn’t get into much detail about the situation.

But what I make about the situation is that you two have a broken relationship. Not that I think what he said was entirely appropriate, though more likely emotion-driven, but I suggest you two sit down and act like adults and try to hear each other. I think there’s communication problems on both sides, but it needs to be sorted out if you two desire to have a healthy relationship.

And I agree with Boojam. Comparing your son to his brother in law is shaming him in front of his family. It’s like your son saying to you at a family reunion “Uncle Joe makes more money than you, why don’t you try and act like him.”

And I’m lost as to why you think a man should never be angry at a women. I’m sorry, but that might one of the most asinine beliefs I’ve ever heard. She’s failed to pay him back and was willfully provoking your son. Do you just expect him to sit there and smile? That’s like your boss not paying you, so you get angry, then your coworkers say he’s an authority so you shouldn’t get mad.

I would like to hear more about why she owes him money, how much, what she was doing to provoke him, and the exact wording you said to your son while comparing him to his brother-in-law.