My nephew and his friends beat the shit out of me

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  • You may be dealing with gremlins, a nasty little bunch. Keep an eye out to see how these "children" are reacting to moisture. For more information you may have to refer to the documentary Gremlins (some followup films have been made if you do not find this one helpful). If you continue to experience this event however, then perhaps you are mentally disturbed. I recommend an immediate surgical lobotomy, you are guaranteed to not experience any disturbing event again, or at least you will not consciously perceive the world.

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