It’s not fair or helpful to compare your situation in the 1980s (I presume?) to the present day. Achieving independence at 18 is borderline impossible these days, there are many young adults stuck living with horrible relatives who would leap at the chance to move out but it just isn’t an option thanks to rent prices and terrible job markets.
I have spent a lot of time in the last 6 years working with predominantly younger people (Age 17-25) who are in poverty and looking for a way out and up. I can actually help those who are willing to take responsibility and improve themselves (note that the books I recommend on this site to people from time to time virtually always have a proven track record assisting people in meaningful ways).
I'm well aware of the rent and transportation situation, and all kinds of poverty and family situations. I know what kinds of options are out there.
I don't buy the concept that its hopeless... as I've assisted dozens to move out and make it in the last 6 years.
One of the things I have learned... is that there are not just the normal agencies who are set up to help people - but there are a variety of private charity groups who don't advertise or individuals also willing to help in meaningful ways... I admit that its not always easy to find these.
My opinion is that the greatest education miscue of the last 20 years has been teaching people that they do not have to be responsible (someone else is always going to step in). In my opinion current society has raised a bunch of wimps - and taught them to not step out on their own - or to actually seek out those who would assist people who wish to step out on their own.
I have a lot of respect for you on this site. Please understand that I have working knowledge of how to assist people to move out and make it - and have been successful with that so many times these last 6 years I have lost count.
The very fact that so much intervention is required is a sign of how much the situation for young adults has worsened through the decades.
You seem to contradict yourself by arguing that too many people expect someone else to step in and help them but where do think those people you mention would be you and the charities hadn’t stepped in to help them? You also speak a lot about these charities but didn’t mention their names or any practical advice for OP to find them.
I never said that moving out as a young adult is hopeless but I think boasting about having the option to move out at 18 and 4 months in 1975 is in very poor taste on a post like this.
The charities and individuals that help outside the normally available services though the counties or city government are typically are private and local.
They do not advertise; but people looking for them can find them. Local churches and religious organizations tend to know them.
The fact is that many people today can indeed move out and make it on their own at 18. There is a lot more government help than there was in 1975 (when there was none).
Of course the key is that people need to be honest, willing to work at inelegant jobs if they cannot find an elegant one, not have substance abuse issues, willing to have roommates or live in someones house where they don't have total freedom and have to live to some rules (I've done both multiple times).
Being able to prioritize having a low cost smartphone and non-name brand clothing is also typically required.
I have nothing to be ashamed of as I'm working with young adults every year in these situations... and having successes.
My mom locked me out of the house?
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It’s not fair or helpful to compare your situation in the 1980s (I presume?) to the present day. Achieving independence at 18 is borderline impossible these days, there are many young adults stuck living with horrible relatives who would leap at the chance to move out but it just isn’t an option thanks to rent prices and terrible job markets.
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olderdude-xx
2 years ago
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SkullsNRoses:
It was 1975 to be exact.
I have spent a lot of time in the last 6 years working with predominantly younger people (Age 17-25) who are in poverty and looking for a way out and up. I can actually help those who are willing to take responsibility and improve themselves (note that the books I recommend on this site to people from time to time virtually always have a proven track record assisting people in meaningful ways).
I'm well aware of the rent and transportation situation, and all kinds of poverty and family situations. I know what kinds of options are out there.
I don't buy the concept that its hopeless... as I've assisted dozens to move out and make it in the last 6 years.
One of the things I have learned... is that there are not just the normal agencies who are set up to help people - but there are a variety of private charity groups who don't advertise or individuals also willing to help in meaningful ways... I admit that its not always easy to find these.
My opinion is that the greatest education miscue of the last 20 years has been teaching people that they do not have to be responsible (someone else is always going to step in). In my opinion current society has raised a bunch of wimps - and taught them to not step out on their own - or to actually seek out those who would assist people who wish to step out on their own.
I have a lot of respect for you on this site. Please understand that I have working knowledge of how to assist people to move out and make it - and have been successful with that so many times these last 6 years I have lost count.
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SkullsNRoses
2 years ago
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The very fact that so much intervention is required is a sign of how much the situation for young adults has worsened through the decades.
You seem to contradict yourself by arguing that too many people expect someone else to step in and help them but where do think those people you mention would be you and the charities hadn’t stepped in to help them? You also speak a lot about these charities but didn’t mention their names or any practical advice for OP to find them.
I never said that moving out as a young adult is hopeless but I think boasting about having the option to move out at 18 and 4 months in 1975 is in very poor taste on a post like this.
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olderdude-xx
2 years ago
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The charities and individuals that help outside the normally available services though the counties or city government are typically are private and local.
They do not advertise; but people looking for them can find them. Local churches and religious organizations tend to know them.
The fact is that many people today can indeed move out and make it on their own at 18. There is a lot more government help than there was in 1975 (when there was none).
Of course the key is that people need to be honest, willing to work at inelegant jobs if they cannot find an elegant one, not have substance abuse issues, willing to have roommates or live in someones house where they don't have total freedom and have to live to some rules (I've done both multiple times).
Being able to prioritize having a low cost smartphone and non-name brand clothing is also typically required.
I have nothing to be ashamed of as I'm working with young adults every year in these situations... and having successes.