If you are over 18 in the US she has every right to lock you out of the house.
If you are under 18 she may have limited rights if you are considered dangerous or have extreme behavior.
Your behavior has actions. Time to grow up and mature and behave better...
There are agencies to assist you... including getting you into housing.
I wish you the best sorting things out.
Personally, I was out of my parents house within 4 months after I turned 18 and about 1 month after graduating from high school. I understand that the economy is not as good now... but, I'm sure you have options.
It’s not fair or helpful to compare your situation in the 1980s (I presume?) to the present day. Achieving independence at 18 is borderline impossible these days, there are many young adults stuck living with horrible relatives who would leap at the chance to move out but it just isn’t an option thanks to rent prices and terrible job markets.
I have spent a lot of time in the last 6 years working with predominantly younger people (Age 17-25) who are in poverty and looking for a way out and up. I can actually help those who are willing to take responsibility and improve themselves (note that the books I recommend on this site to people from time to time virtually always have a proven track record assisting people in meaningful ways).
I'm well aware of the rent and transportation situation, and all kinds of poverty and family situations. I know what kinds of options are out there.
I don't buy the concept that its hopeless... as I've assisted dozens to move out and make it in the last 6 years.
One of the things I have learned... is that there are not just the normal agencies who are set up to help people - but there are a variety of private charity groups who don't advertise or individuals also willing to help in meaningful ways... I admit that its not always easy to find these.
My opinion is that the greatest education miscue of the last 20 years has been teaching people that they do not have to be responsible (someone else is always going to step in). In my opinion current society has raised a bunch of wimps - and taught them to not step out on their own - or to actually seek out those who would assist people who wish to step out on their own.
I have a lot of respect for you on this site. Please understand that I have working knowledge of how to assist people to move out and make it - and have been successful with that so many times these last 6 years I have lost count.
The very fact that so much intervention is required is a sign of how much the situation for young adults has worsened through the decades.
You seem to contradict yourself by arguing that too many people expect someone else to step in and help them but where do think those people you mention would be you and the charities hadn’t stepped in to help them? You also speak a lot about these charities but didn’t mention their names or any practical advice for OP to find them.
I never said that moving out as a young adult is hopeless but I think boasting about having the option to move out at 18 and 4 months in 1975 is in very poor taste on a post like this.
The charities and individuals that help outside the normally available services though the counties or city government are typically are private and local.
They do not advertise; but people looking for them can find them. Local churches and religious organizations tend to know them.
The fact is that many people today can indeed move out and make it on their own at 18. There is a lot more government help than there was in 1975 (when there was none).
Of course the key is that people need to be honest, willing to work at inelegant jobs if they cannot find an elegant one, not have substance abuse issues, willing to have roommates or live in someones house where they don't have total freedom and have to live to some rules (I've done both multiple times).
Being able to prioritize having a low cost smartphone and non-name brand clothing is also typically required.
I have nothing to be ashamed of as I'm working with young adults every year in these situations... and having successes.
I don't see much evidence for a suicide attempt. Ibuprofen is not a suicide drug; but can often be overdosed because they have other pain or they were drunk.
Sometimes you gotta take peoples' words for it. "Evidence"? Who gives a shit about evidence when there's someone in pain who's just trying to reach out?
My ex-boyfriend, my best friend of over 7 years, committed suicide late 2019. Shot himself in the heart. I was the last person he texted. I tried to save him and I couldn't get there in time.
Trust me, evidence doesn't matter. Try LISTENING to people for a change. Does it sound like my best friend was in anything resembling a rational state of mind to you? He wasn't.
"Ibuprofen is not a suicide drug" Sorry, but you really don't know how people who are going through that kinda thing are thinking...
I'm sorry for your loss. I understand the pain very much as when I was in high school my best friend committed suicide by also shooting himself in the heart.
I've also almost committed suicide myself about 4 years later; and successfully worked my way out of that.
I have spent most of my life assisting other people and have dealt with many many people in many situations (I grew up in extreme poverty, and tend to work with the impoverished to assist them out).
My assumptions may not be perfect; but they are based on likely about 40 years more life experience than you have working with people and actually trying to assist them to get to a much better place.
You and I have interpreted the initial post differently....
Again, I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, and I know that it often takes years to recover from that in certain ways.
I wish you the best in life... and I assure you that you can have a great life and find new great friends.
Dude...yeah, she technically has the right, but so what?
Just because you have the RIGHT to do something doesn't mean that it's necessary or even a good idea.
Yeah, I have the RIGHT to shut out the people in my life who have hurt me, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to though.
I'm speaking as someone who has been through a LOT very recently, NONE of it was my fault, and I have STILL had people that I love, people that I believed I could count on, who have turned their backs on me when I needed them most. Just because they have the RIGHT to do that to me doesn't mean that they NEEDED to. If I had their assistance and support I'd be in a much better place right now, trust me.
Think about how the person who posted this feels. Try not to make assumptions...
My mom locked me out of the house?
← View full post
If you are over 18 in the US she has every right to lock you out of the house.
If you are under 18 she may have limited rights if you are considered dangerous or have extreme behavior.
Your behavior has actions. Time to grow up and mature and behave better...
There are agencies to assist you... including getting you into housing.
I wish you the best sorting things out.
Personally, I was out of my parents house within 4 months after I turned 18 and about 1 month after graduating from high school. I understand that the economy is not as good now... but, I'm sure you have options.
--
SkullsNRoses
2 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
5
5
-
charli.m
2 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
4
4
-
hauntedbysandwiches
2 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
2
2
-
idolomantis
2 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
It’s not fair or helpful to compare your situation in the 1980s (I presume?) to the present day. Achieving independence at 18 is borderline impossible these days, there are many young adults stuck living with horrible relatives who would leap at the chance to move out but it just isn’t an option thanks to rent prices and terrible job markets.
--
olderdude-xx
2 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
-1
-1
SkullsNRoses:
It was 1975 to be exact.
I have spent a lot of time in the last 6 years working with predominantly younger people (Age 17-25) who are in poverty and looking for a way out and up. I can actually help those who are willing to take responsibility and improve themselves (note that the books I recommend on this site to people from time to time virtually always have a proven track record assisting people in meaningful ways).
I'm well aware of the rent and transportation situation, and all kinds of poverty and family situations. I know what kinds of options are out there.
I don't buy the concept that its hopeless... as I've assisted dozens to move out and make it in the last 6 years.
One of the things I have learned... is that there are not just the normal agencies who are set up to help people - but there are a variety of private charity groups who don't advertise or individuals also willing to help in meaningful ways... I admit that its not always easy to find these.
My opinion is that the greatest education miscue of the last 20 years has been teaching people that they do not have to be responsible (someone else is always going to step in). In my opinion current society has raised a bunch of wimps - and taught them to not step out on their own - or to actually seek out those who would assist people who wish to step out on their own.
I have a lot of respect for you on this site. Please understand that I have working knowledge of how to assist people to move out and make it - and have been successful with that so many times these last 6 years I have lost count.
--
SkullsNRoses
2 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
The very fact that so much intervention is required is a sign of how much the situation for young adults has worsened through the decades.
You seem to contradict yourself by arguing that too many people expect someone else to step in and help them but where do think those people you mention would be you and the charities hadn’t stepped in to help them? You also speak a lot about these charities but didn’t mention their names or any practical advice for OP to find them.
I never said that moving out as a young adult is hopeless but I think boasting about having the option to move out at 18 and 4 months in 1975 is in very poor taste on a post like this.
--
olderdude-xx
2 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
The charities and individuals that help outside the normally available services though the counties or city government are typically are private and local.
They do not advertise; but people looking for them can find them. Local churches and religious organizations tend to know them.
The fact is that many people today can indeed move out and make it on their own at 18. There is a lot more government help than there was in 1975 (when there was none).
Of course the key is that people need to be honest, willing to work at inelegant jobs if they cannot find an elegant one, not have substance abuse issues, willing to have roommates or live in someones house where they don't have total freedom and have to live to some rules (I've done both multiple times).
Being able to prioritize having a low cost smartphone and non-name brand clothing is also typically required.
I have nothing to be ashamed of as I'm working with young adults every year in these situations... and having successes.
Cos this totally didn't read as a suicide attempt instead of a junkie...
Jesus, dude.
I think you're the one who needs to grow up. Suicide attempts know no age or maturity level.
--
olderdude-xx
2 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
-1
-1
I don't see much evidence for a suicide attempt. Ibuprofen is not a suicide drug; but can often be overdosed because they have other pain or they were drunk.
--
idolomantis
2 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Sometimes you gotta take peoples' words for it. "Evidence"? Who gives a shit about evidence when there's someone in pain who's just trying to reach out?
My ex-boyfriend, my best friend of over 7 years, committed suicide late 2019. Shot himself in the heart. I was the last person he texted. I tried to save him and I couldn't get there in time.
Trust me, evidence doesn't matter. Try LISTENING to people for a change. Does it sound like my best friend was in anything resembling a rational state of mind to you? He wasn't.
"Ibuprofen is not a suicide drug" Sorry, but you really don't know how people who are going through that kinda thing are thinking...
--
olderdude-xx
2 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
1
1
I'm sorry for your loss. I understand the pain very much as when I was in high school my best friend committed suicide by also shooting himself in the heart.
I've also almost committed suicide myself about 4 years later; and successfully worked my way out of that.
I have spent most of my life assisting other people and have dealt with many many people in many situations (I grew up in extreme poverty, and tend to work with the impoverished to assist them out).
My assumptions may not be perfect; but they are based on likely about 40 years more life experience than you have working with people and actually trying to assist them to get to a much better place.
You and I have interpreted the initial post differently....
Again, I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, and I know that it often takes years to recover from that in certain ways.
I wish you the best in life... and I assure you that you can have a great life and find new great friends.
Dude...yeah, she technically has the right, but so what?
Just because you have the RIGHT to do something doesn't mean that it's necessary or even a good idea.
Yeah, I have the RIGHT to shut out the people in my life who have hurt me, it doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to though.
I'm speaking as someone who has been through a LOT very recently, NONE of it was my fault, and I have STILL had people that I love, people that I believed I could count on, who have turned their backs on me when I needed them most. Just because they have the RIGHT to do that to me doesn't mean that they NEEDED to. If I had their assistance and support I'd be in a much better place right now, trust me.
Think about how the person who posted this feels. Try not to make assumptions...