That's probably true for a lot of people, but when my dad died, I didn't feel guilty for disliking him. I had actually cut him off emotionally at age 11.
Something he said confirmed my feelings that our relationship was more like one between a boss and an employee, rather than a parent/child relationship rooted in love.
It went on that way, but later when he became softer, and more often said he loved me, I didn't feel much of anything, except an urge to cringe.
Any attempts at bonding past age 12 just felt superficial- like pointlessly putting soothing balm on a wound that I had already cauterized on my own long ago.
Fair enough. I guess we all grieve differently. I do have a friend who said she felt very free after her mother died (she was abused as a child).
I think I'm just a really guilt-ridden person. Sometimes when I received abusive drunk phone calls from my mum during school I would feel really guilty for hanging up on her, despite the fact she was just calling to yell horrible insults at me. I guess I'm just really fucked up lol.
My mom annoys me
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That's probably true for a lot of people, but when my dad died, I didn't feel guilty for disliking him. I had actually cut him off emotionally at age 11.
Something he said confirmed my feelings that our relationship was more like one between a boss and an employee, rather than a parent/child relationship rooted in love.
It went on that way, but later when he became softer, and more often said he loved me, I didn't feel much of anything, except an urge to cringe.
Any attempts at bonding past age 12 just felt superficial- like pointlessly putting soothing balm on a wound that I had already cauterized on my own long ago.
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SwickDinging
4 years ago
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Fair enough. I guess we all grieve differently. I do have a friend who said she felt very free after her mother died (she was abused as a child).
I think I'm just a really guilt-ridden person. Sometimes when I received abusive drunk phone calls from my mum during school I would feel really guilty for hanging up on her, despite the fact she was just calling to yell horrible insults at me. I guess I'm just really fucked up lol.