my Girlfriend Loves me but wishes she had a Rich Handsome Man instead?

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  • The best possible interpretation to put on her saying this is that she's also conflicted, and she's having problems getting past stupid teenage dreams of living the perfect, high-gloss life of a celebrity with an incredibly handsome multi-billionaire husband, and she's very aware of how the reality of life with you falls short of that fantasy.

    Probably the worst possible interpretation is that she feels she's settled with you, and she could do a lot better.

    If this comment was said once in the heat of an argument or during a casual conversation about how your lives might have gone differently or something similar, I'd find that understandable and forgivable. But from what you say, it sounds like she tosses this in your face fairly regularly, and if she's 27, she doesn't have the excuse of being immature. She should by now have some understanding of the reality of the world, and she should be starting to come to terms with the options open to her.

    I have no idea what your financial situation is and how significant $650 is for you, but I think that's a ridiculous amount to spend on a fucking handbag. The fact you were willing to spend so much on such a fundamentally trivial object sounds like you were trying to buy her approval.

    As far as your weight is concerned, yes, you could do with losing more, but the fact that she's pressuring you to do so is not a good sign.

    Her repeated crass comment about wanting a rich guy to buy her anything she might want and her nagging you to lose more weight both indicate that, no matter what she says about loving you, she wants you to be someone else.

    Her not talking to you is very manipulative. It's a technique commonly used by manipulative people: they cut someone off from attention and affection until they do something to gain approval again. They often don't say what needs to be done in order to make them happy again because they enjoy the feeling of power when they watch the other person flail around desperately trying to figure out what they've done wrong and how they can get things back on an even keel. It's stupid, immature game-playing of the worst sort, and only someone with no self-respect will tolerate such behaviour for long.

    You say you've discussed this, but have you told her explicitly how these comments make you feel? If you haven't, you should. If you have told her and her behaviour hasn't changed, then you have to assume it never will, and she will continue to periodically make you feel shit because she insists on believing that she could have snagged a guy who is much better than you.

    RoseIsabella suggested you ask her in what way she thinks she might grow or improve herself. That's a question designed to flush out narcissists. A narcissist believes they are already perfect, and if someone asks them that question, they will either be completely befuddled or they will be enraged because it suggests they are not already perfect. You might find it interesting to casually drop the question into a conversation. If it does seem that she is a narcissist, then the only sane option is to run as fast as you can. No narcissist can have a positive relationship with anyone other than themselves, and they make the lives of those around them hell in various ways.

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