My girlfriend loves me but wishes she had a rich handsome man instead?

20 f. If she dated you knowing she wanted you to be more fit or rich she shouldn’t have dated you in the first place. It’s like dating somebody who’s a stoner and then telling them they can’t smoke pot. Why bother being with somebody who’s different than what you want? It sounds like she’s controlling and wants to change you rather than love who you are. Don’t settle for that

do you mean "immature" you said "in-mature" lol

The best possible interpretation to put on her saying this is that she's also conflicted, and she's having problems getting past stupid teenage dreams of living the perfect, high-gloss life of a celebrity with an incredibly handsome multi-billionaire husband, and she's very aware of how the reality of life with you falls short of that fantasy.

Probably the worst possible interpretation is that she feels she's settled with you, and she could do a lot better.

If this comment was said once in the heat of an argument or during a casual conversation about how your lives might have gone differently or something similar, I'd find that understandable and forgivable. But from what you say, it sounds like she tosses this in your face fairly regularly, and if she's 27, she doesn't have the excuse of being immature. She should by now have some understanding of the reality of the world, and she should be starting to come to terms with the options open to her.

I have no idea what your financial situation is and how significant $650 is for you, but I think that's a ridiculous amount to spend on a fucking handbag. The fact you were willing to spend so much on such a fundamentally trivial object sounds like you were trying to buy her approval.

As far as your weight is concerned, yes, you could do with losing more, but the fact that she's pressuring you to do so is not a good sign.

Her repeated crass comment about wanting a rich guy to buy her anything she might want and her nagging you to lose more weight both indicate that, no matter what she says about loving you, she wants you to be someone else.

Her not talking to you is very manipulative. It's a technique commonly used by manipulative people: they cut someone off from attention and affection until they do something to gain approval again. They often don't say what needs to be done in order to make them happy again because they enjoy the feeling of power when they watch the other person flail around desperately trying to figure out what they've done wrong and how they can get things back on an even keel. It's stupid, immature game-playing of the worst sort, and only someone with no self-respect will tolerate such behaviour for long.

You say you've discussed this, but have you told her explicitly how these comments make you feel? If you haven't, you should. If you have told her and her behaviour hasn't changed, then you have to assume it never will, and she will continue to periodically make you feel shit because she insists on believing that she could have snagged a guy who is much better than you.

RoseIsabella suggested you ask her in what way she thinks she might grow or improve herself. That's a question designed to flush out narcissists. A narcissist believes they are already perfect, and if someone asks them that question, they will either be completely befuddled or they will be enraged because it suggests they are not already perfect. You might find it interesting to casually drop the question into a conversation. If it does seem that she is a narcissist, then the only sane option is to run as fast as you can. No narcissist can have a positive relationship with anyone other than themselves, and they make the lives of those around them hell in various ways.

It’s like she’s trying to form you to fit her expectations. Maybe she’s expecting to much and it sounds pretty selfish to me. If what she wants makes you feel pressured to keep up maybe she’s to much maintenance and you should find someone who will accept you the way you are. I can understand if she tries to encourage you to be healthier but to push you into this image idk. If she’s chasing something you aren’t maybe you should let her keep running.

Let that fish go, ya dig

Let her find what she wants

I thought you were going to say she's 15. At 27 her behaviour is pathetic, I'd run a mile.

Wow thanks everyone for honest inputs and for being unbiased, I did not post this in the heat of an argument, it’s happened before so its getting a little frustrating, it’s hard to deal with a person you love one side of them but the other is just plain difficult. Thank you for everyone’s time.

I did not buy the handbag for her approval or to win her over, it was simply because I wanted, what I wanted to show by that example is that I may not be a rich guy but I am a hard working middle guy that will work hard on special occasions for some gifts if they deserve it, but I feel she doesn’t acknowledge that with her comments.

I wouldn’t stay with someone who wants me to change. With people like that, you will keep changing yourself in the ways that they want and it will never be enough for them. Look at what’s happened already, you’ve lost almost 100 pounds and she’s still unhappy. If she’s not in love with who you are but she’s in love with a made-up man in her mind, get outta there.

gold digger bitch

She seems to picky, but not so bad you should leave ASAP. Good for you getting that weight under control. Losing weight does help your attractiveness, but your gf does seem shallow based on the title. I would consider leaving, but try to at least comprimise or discuss things first.

How do her demands make you feel?

Ask her what she needs to improve, or change about herself, and let me know what she says.

She's not the one.

Leave. Her demands will be never ending. The more you stick around the more she'll see you as her punching bag.

The grass is always greener on the other side

She is passing her time on you because she often feels boring & you can be a good toy for her

No matter what you do or accomplish it will never be good enough for her. Tell her to go hang out in the hood and find some thug to date.

Dude, I've seen this shit happen before! She's going to ditch you the second she thinks something better comes along. Ditch her first.

Materialistic relationships never work. Also, it's normal for her to wish you were not overweight since she doesn't seem to be. However, I think there is only a fat chance of her being with you even if you reduce your weight since she's greedy.

Leave her.

Everyone wants the best out of someone. I bet you wish she had a better bust size or had no blemishes. Alas weight is the one thing we can change pretty easily, you need to keep to it and make her wants a reality. Even a four can upgrade to a six with good health planning.