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My girlfriend is 25 and she is really close to her dad. Often when we have sex or cuddle she regresses to 6 years old, sucks her thumb and talks like a little girl. She says I remind her of her dad and even today she will sit on her dads lap and cuddle with him.
My dad is my best friend, I am 21 years old. Me and my dad can cuddle on the couch when we watch TV, but also with my other family members. We are all so close since my mum left us.
For me to know a closeness in relationship with my father, and to read this, I don't think that it is normal. If I had sex with my boyfriend, then cuddled him after, I wouldn't dream of mentioning my father never mind speaking in a childish manor. Sucking her thumb... now does she do that all the time as a habit? Or is it just when she is feeling 6 years old?
I'd like a response to discuss this further, I'm familiar with sexual abuse to the extent of personal research. My mum was abused as a young child, therefore I wanted to understand why she was so messed up.
For my personal views,
I think maybe your girlfriend could of been abused as a child (6 years old) ... but it's common for people to forget that, hide it under everything else in there mind. But then little weird things happen, like you've said, pretending she is 6 and that you remind her of her dad. She probably doesn't even realise what she is saying could been seen as wrong, abused people can be very innocent and blind eyed.
Just a thought.
Hey thanks for your feedback. Now she only sucks her thumb during those moments after sex when we cuddle. She never mentioned or elluded to any form of abuse. And if she has I don't want to make her uncomfortable by making her think that she was abused if she doesn't recall. She acts so complete when I play the role of her daddy too...idk I personally find comfort in being able to provide that comfort to her.
I suck my thumb, it has nothing to do with childhood trauma or daddy issues. It makes me feel comfortable, if I sucked my thumb around my spouse it would be because I felt especially safe and loved. Its just one of those unusual habits people have.
The talking like a child is unusual, but is that when she's sucking her thumb? Because when I try to talk with my thumb in my mouth its naturally difficult and comes out baby-ish. Otherwise she might be doing it because she thinks its sexy or cute?
Girls are usually more attracted to men to remind them of their father, I'm not in that group of girls, but it is pretty normal. If she says you remind her of her dad, its probably a compliment and not sexual at all. You should only start to worry if she says it during sex!
The cuddling dad thing is pretty normal, some women are 'daddy's girl's and some aren't.
I have had many relationships with women and I guess being a performing musician helped me meet ladies. I therefore consider myself experienced. I have had lovers who were abused by their fathers, used by their fathers and loved their fathers. It is not right to use a little girl and I mean a toddler. I am sad to say that one beautiful woman whom I met while at a laundromat struck up a conversation with me and her father looked at me with contempt, I mean severely. I came to her home and picked her up and we dated. She told me of her sorrow and how she was physically abused to the point of having a mutilated vulva which didn't turn me off or on but since she was so introverted and sad I felt sincerely for her and learned to be very careful as not to scar her since I may have been her first male friend as well as lover instead of a pedophile. She cried when I sang & played her a love song as if she couldn't believe that there was such a thing, feeling and emotion as simple unconditional love! When she learned that I was serious about my music career and not marriage she still loved me. I gave her my Band Jacket from one of the groups I was with. She inexplicably left Downstate New York to move up near Canada to some arrangement which I still do not understand nor did I interrogate her, but this was the most severe abused woman whom I Loved. I had other relationships where it was obvious that there was physical intimacy and it only bothered me when the woman asked me to be monogamous only to find her sitting in her panties on her daddy's lap. I have to say it may not be alien to our species but I don't find it normal for a grown woman to be having sex with their father.
If he can't control it will you help him make it go down? What can be done to prevent too much excitement?
OH MY GOOOOOOOOD. no no no. Nobody's dad should be getting "excited" to see their child.