Totally normal. While it's best to try to move past such a tragic happening healthily, it takes time. I've never had the misfortune of having a GF die, but I can tell you a long-term GF I had about the same amount of time ago still makes cameos in my dreams occasionally. You can make strides in moving on, but fully moving on may never happen.
my gf died 4 years ago and still cry over her
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Totally normal. While it's best to try to move past such a tragic happening healthily, it takes time. I've never had the misfortune of having a GF die, but I can tell you a long-term GF I had about the same amount of time ago still makes cameos in my dreams occasionally. You can make strides in moving on, but fully moving on may never happen.