My friend with benefits also happens to be a father figure for me

I'm a 25 year old female and I have a friend with benefits who is 45 years old. At the same time he is my father figure. He is the type of much older man who is quite fatherly in a way. A dad friend.

Voting Results
43% Normal
Based on 14 votes (6 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 3 )
  • S0UNDS_WEIRD

    This could sound very weird indeed but is it possible it's the semantics of it? I mean do you kind of wish this guy was your father or are you really just saying he's caring, maybe a little protective, and that you perhaps learn a lot from him?

    Because if you reimagine that with him your age he's just a good guy who cares a lot about you and happens to know a lot of the things that are new and refreshing to you. Add the age difference and it's easy to relabel those exact same qualities as fatherly, but there's a difference between fatherly and... fatherly, if you know what I'm saying. The age difference can also turn what you might have called "admiration" into "looking up to".

    But if there's a distinct, straight up, "I can see this guy being my father" thing going on here you might have some unresolved issues that could use some attention.

    There's a fairly significant age difference here. I would say be careful but you're a grown woman, he surely can't be exhibiting bad behavior if you see him like that, and then there's the fact that you say he's just a FWB anyway.

    Either way, besides asking yourself if something is going on internally in the case that you actually do see him in a real fatherly way, the main thing I would advise is just being careful he's not trying to turn you into something you're not. You're too old to be "groomed" but the fact remains that a danger of dating someone that much older is that they have a lot more life experience but do remember being your age and can much more easily manipulate you if they're such a person. Of course you say he's just a FWB anyway.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • 1WeirdGuy

    I dont see a big deal

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • olderdude-xx

    Yes, in this day and age of single parent families for you to find a older father figure is quite normal. The fact that you found him as part of filling other needs does not negate that.

    I wish you the best with this,

    Comment Hidden ( show )