My friend's mom is ruining her life.

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9 Comments

Ok, so my best friend, Jen (fake names), is a really nice person. She always tries to see the best in others, and is a hard worker. She and her whole family are Anglican.

Her mom, Mary, is a completely crazy woman. She seemed nice to me at first, but then I realized how she's been ruining Jen's life. Jen is 15, and her mom won't let her do anything. I know some parents are overprotective, but Mary's going overbaord. Jen can't wear skirts, or shirts that have low necklines. She can't walk from my house to Starbucks (I live right beside it) unless my mom or another adult comes with us. She san't even walk around in the mall by herself. I don't know, maybe Mary thinks Jen will run away with some guy?

Besides, she can't use the internet or watch tv. She can't create an email account because her mom won't let her "comunicate with people on the internet". When she needs to use email, she uses her mom's. All Jen does at home is play piano and study. Really, that's all she does. Also, she can't watch PG-13 movies, and always closes her eyes when she sees someone kissing. She doesn't know anything about sex or relationships because her mom never talked to her about it.

Jen can't have a boyfriend until she's out of college, and has already decided she will only date the guy she will marry. She told me she will have her first kiss as she is walking down the aisle.

I see how it is ruining her life. She will grow up to be an innocent adult who doesn't know a thing about the world. People will take advantage of her. I tried to talk to her about it, but she won't listen because she is absolutely positive Mary's right. She thinks of her mom as God or something.

I love my friend, but I feel like I can't do anything with her. We can't go out together, we can't sleepover at each other's houses. I'm afraid she will stop being my friend if I ever get a boyfriend, because in her eyes that's "wrong".

Please, any advices?

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24% Normal
Based on 50 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    I thought Jen was lucky to have a friend like you. Until you started judging her and her family. Not without reason mind you.

    But there is nothing that her parents are doing - besides being over-controlling - that is particularly bad.

    I agree with you. But be a friend. Walk with her. She probably loves your friendship. Respect her, and her family - they mean very well.

    Be a friend because, well, you are and care. And try not to judge quite so much, IMO.

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  • Lockets
    14 years ago

    Is she happy?
    What do you have in common to make you best friends?

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  • walrus101
    11 years ago

    show her something she can't resist. a hot guy or something. bribe her. say you'll give her the thing she wants if she let's you explain things she NEEDS to know to her.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Ur right that girls never gonna grow up
    Shell live life with the innocence of a 2 yearold

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  • brian987987
    14 years ago

    i know parents like this.they are a bunch religist freaks.that have to go to church all the time.

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  • [Old Memory]
    14 years ago

    I think your right
    but idk what you could do

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  • SmokieeJoe
    14 years ago

    It's a shame. She'll have her first kiss at her wedding .. but does she really believe someone will marry her, having never kissed her or other stuff ?
    Perhaps Mary has had a bad experience in life and is trying to protect Jen from the world and getting hurt like she did. Sounds like theres nothing you can really do though :S

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  • SeniorKenzo
    14 years ago

    Live and let live I guess. I myself don't agree with the way your friend is being brought up, but it is her life and if people are going to take advantage of her in the future, then so be it. The best way to help someone grow is by letting them make their own mistakes and learn from them on their own. The best thing you can do is to be supportive and be there for her when she needs it (and not by trying to change her ways, mind you.) This is really one of those situations that nobody has control over except for your friend. Just be yourself and let the chips fall as they may.

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  • Jen118584
    14 years ago

    Unfortunately, although I understand why you are frustrated and worried about your friend, this is really none of your concern. By that, I mean that if your friend believes in her mother, you will only push her away and alienate her by trying to convince her otherwise. The best thing you can do is to keep on being you, and in time your friend will do what is best for herself. Be there to support her, and to remind her that there is life outside of her mother's household.

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